Two hearts
by CPD5021George
Summary: When Jay was accused of killing Lonnie Rodiger, he was basically alone. What if he met someone, who would be on his side? This story starts in season 1, with some changes to the original story-line, and it is an Upstead story
1. Chapter 1

_**Part one of this story is set in season 1. Talking to some other Upstead fans, we wondered how Hailey would have handled Jay being accused of killing Lonnie Rodiger. It got me thinking and made me write this story. Hailey is not a part of Intelligence, but still a patrol officer. An Upstead story.**_

_**\- Part 1 –**_

**Chapter 1**

Jay Halstead was disappointed and angry, actually he was beyond angry. His boss, Sergeant Hank Voight, had just stripped him, taken his badge and gun, in the presence of the chief. His team, Intelligence, had not said a word, they had just stared at him. His partner, Erin Lindsay, had done nothing but give him the card of an FOP rep. Jin had slammed the door into his face. Antonio Dawson, who had brought him to Intelligence, had yelled at him for putting him, Antonio, in bad position.

They all believed it.

They all believed that he had killed Lonnie Rodiger. It was true, he wanted to kill this scumbag, had wanted to kill him the moment they had found out that Lonnie had killed Ben Corson. But Jay had not killed him; and right now he was angry and frustrated that nobody wanted to listen to his story, to believe him, to have his back.

Not his chief, not his boss, not his team, his friends – or rather, the people he had considered his friends.

He was alone again. This was not new to him, but this time it came unexpectedly.

* * *

Jay stormed out of the precinct, not looking nor caring where he went, when he ran into someone.

"Watch it!" he heard a sharp female voice.

Jay grunted, still annoyed, and looked at the woman he just almost ran over. A petite blonde woman approximately his age in Police Blues, who was looking at him annoyed and at the same time concerned. _She's cute_, he thought, but quickly brushed this thought off. Now was not the time.

"Sorry," he said meekly. "I didn't want to..."

"Are you ok?" she asked. She immediately noticed that there was something off, and for some reason she couldn't explain, she cared.

"Yeah," he answered automatically, then out of nowhere, he added, "no, not really."

She tilted her head slightly, surprised at his confession. He seemed to be a good guy, a troubled good guy. And he was quite handsome. "You look like you might need a coffee."

Jay stared at her, surprised. Things like that usually didn't happen to him. He quickly thought about the invitation. "Yeah, why not," he answered cautiously. "It's not like I have a job waiting."

The blonde raised her eyebrows in an unspoken question, which Jay didn't want to answer.

"Ok, let's go."

* * *

They headed to a coffee shop around the corner from the district, both not quite sure of what was happening.

They had never met before, yet it was the most normal thing in the world to go for a coffee together. And Jay was thankful that he was not alone, at least for a moment.

Inside the coffee shop they sat down at a table.

"Detective Jay Halstead, Intelligence," he introduced himself. "Well, Intelligence until a few minutes ago."

"Officer Hailey Upton, Patrol," she said, looking back at him seriously. "Why until a few minutes ago?"

Jay looked at her, not quite knowing if he should confide in this Officer Upton, whom he had just met. Her face showed friendly curiosity, not an intrusive curiosity; he decided it was just the right amount to make him trust her. He, Jay Halstead, who normally didn't trust many people.

"Because I was just stripped. It seems my whole team, plus my boss and the chief, believe that I killed somebody."

Her eyes widened. "Did you?"

"No, I didn't," Jay answered. "And you are the first person that actually asked me this question. That's the sad part. Well, not you asking, but..."

"Do you have a reputation of killing people?" She slightly tilted her head, and her voice sounded a bit teasing, in a good way. Just enough to lighten the conversation just a bit and make it less awkward.

"No. But I'm kind of new to the unit."

She looked at him inquiringly. Her gaze made him a bit uncomfortable, yet at the same time it felt good. It felt good that someone, even someone he didn't know, was actually interested in his side of the story. So he told her about the case. Told her that this boy, Ben Corson, was killed by a pedophile, that he knew the family, and that they found a suspect. They were sure that Lonnie Rodiger was guilty, but he walked. Of course, cases like this were difficult and never left you alone, especially when they remained open. It was frustrating that the family didn't have closure, that an alleged pedophile was still out in the streets to do more harm. He told her that he visited Ben's family each year for Ben's birthday, and that he watched Lonnie Rodiger. That he had been following Lonnie the night before. And now Lonnie was dead.

"And they think you did it?" Hailey asked. "Why?"

"Because the family wanted to have a restraining order against me already, and because I was driving behind him last night."

Hailey nodded. "I see. It's easy to blame you."

"Yes, I guess so."

"And now? What are you going to do now?"

"Contact my FOP rep, I think. My partner gave me a card."

"And then?"

"I have no idea."

Hailey shook her head. "You must prove that you didn't do it."

"Why are you so interested?"

Hailey smiled softly, thinking about an answer. "Because I believe you. I don't even know why, but I believe you."

"Thanks, at least one person believes me." Jay smiled back at her. They had only met, and he already felt good in her presence.

"Why did you come to 21st anyway? I have never seen you here," Jay changed the subject.

"I was supposed to meet with someone, who wasn't there. I'm usually in 28th."

"So you had some time to spare," Jay smiled. "Thank you."

He had finished his coffee and suddenly thought he should leave.

"You're welcome. Listen, if you need help, let me know, ok?" She took out a piece of paper and wrote a phone number down, handed him the paper.

Slowly Jay took the paper. "You know, I might just do that."

"Jay, I have some free time in the next few days, and I'll gladly help. It seems nobody else does."

Jay smiled sadly. "Yeah, that's true."

They left the coffee shop and returned to the precinct. When they had reached Jay's car, they stopped.

"It was nice to meet you, Detective Jay Halstead," Hailey said.

"Nice to meet you too, Officer Hailey Upton," Jay answered.

"Call, and I'll help you find the killer," Hailey confirmed once again. Jay grinned. Yes, he would probably call her. Perhaps she was as good a cop as she was a listener. And he definitely liked her. He briefly hugged her. "I will need to take care of a few things first. See you then."

When he turned back to his car, he saw his unit – or his former unit, he wasn't quite sure – walking towards their cars, and Erin gave him an irritated look. Jay shrugged and got into his car to drive home.

* * *

On the way he tried to gather his thoughts. What had just happened?

Was he fired? Would he have a chance to get back into Intelligence at all, even if he could prove that he was innocent?

And what had just happened with this Officer Upton? They met and he confided in her – how did that happen? He didn't trust just anyone whom he had just met. But she seemed to have found a way to make him trust her. She wasn't too close, didn't pretend to be, and yet she showed genuine interest. Jay didn't think he was always the best judge of character, but he hoped to be right this time.

He drove home, and instead of drowning in self-pity, he started thinking of what to do. He took a pen and a paper and wrote down everything he could remember, everything related to the Ben Corson case, and everything that happened in the last few weeks. And he started matching his notes with the information Jin had gathered for him.

He had stood in front of the Corson house on what would have been Ben's 15th birthday. After that he had followed Lonnie's tracks, because Jay was convinced that Lonnie was out hunting again. That was why he had been following him the night before.

Who could have killed Lonnie Rodiger?

The first person that came to his mind was Danny Corson, Ben's father. Jay didn't believe that Danny was capable of killing someone, however.

Just like himself, Danny might have killed Lonnie the moment it was clear that Lonnie had killed Ben. But right now? Jay didn't think Danny did it, but he would talk to Danny. He deserved to hear about Rodiger's death from him, not from some other cop that might accuse him, and thus adding to his pain. And if the investigating cops thought Danny might be a suspect, it shouldn't hit him unexpectedly. Within a few minutes, Jay was on his way.

* * *

A while later, Jay was sitting in the Corson's living room, just like so many times before. He was alone with Danny. And with a heavy heart he asked Danny if there was anything he should know.

Immediately when he asked, Jay was sure that Danny hadn't killed Lonnie. Danny was no killer, he was a good person, a very sad but good person. It made Jay's heart even heavier when Danny offered to take the blame and confess to killing Lonnie, just because he wanted to help Jay. Not being a very emotional person in the company of others, Jay felt a lump in his throat and tears welling up in his eyes. But he shook his head decidedly.

He would not allow Danny to take the fall for him. Both of them were innocent. This was out of the question. He needed to find out who killed Lonnie, not only for himself, but also for Danny Corson.

Jay made it clear to Danny that he hadn't killed Lonnie, and that he would not allow Danny to make a false confession to the police. He would find the actual murderer. He would make sure not to add more grief to Danny Corson's already mourning mind.

Then he drove back home. He had an appointment with Internal Affairs the next morning, and he wanted to gather his thoughts, be as well prepared as possible, under the circumstances. He didn't know if Internal Affairs had more on him than just the photos of his car. He knew, however, that he was innocent, but he didn't want any surprises. What other incriminating details could there be?


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Before he could return home, however, Jay had a brief encounter with Phil Rodiger, who accused him of being responsible for his son's death. An encounter Jay would rather have avoided. He could understand perfectly well that the older Rodiger was Angry. He had lost his son. His son was a pedophile, but nevertheless it was his son. And Jay was known for accusing Lonnie, Jay was the reason Lonnie was dead – in Phil Rodiger's eyes anyway.

* * *

Back home he went back to his notes. Added a few bits, crossed out the parts about Danny Corson. He wanted to call Officer Upton, but he wasn't sure if that would be a good idea. He didn't want to impose on her. He should figure this out on his own, not with someone he hardly knew.

But then his phone rang. It was Upton.

"Hey," he said.

"I figured you'd want to do this on your own and might not call," she said, unknowingly vocalizing his thoughts.

Jay laughed briefly. "Right. But I haven't come far. Care to come over?" What did he say? Jay shook his head. Had he just invited her over? She would surely reject. A woman like Hailey surely had better things to do than spend the evening with someone as pathetic as today's version of Jay Halstead.

"Sure, give me 30 minutes."

What was happening here?

* * *

After exactly half an hour, Jay's doorbell rang. Hailey Upton was standing outside, looking a bit insecure, and shoved a six-pack of beer into Jay's hands.

"Beer delivery," she said with a tentative grin.

Jay smiled back at her, relieved somehow. Oh yes, she was as pretty as he remembered.

"Perfect. Just what I need. Come in."

Jay led her into his living room, handed her one beer, put a second one for himself on the table, and the rest into the fridge. Then sat down on the couch.

"I didn't expect you to come," he said after a while.

"I didn't expect to come," she replied.

They exchanged a smile.

"Thank you for offering your help," Jay said. "I don't know how I deserve it. I mean, we just met, and here you are, being more helpful than my own unit."

"Yeah, I'm bored anyway, and I like a good riddle," she shrugged it off, feeling a bit uncomfortable now. She wasn't sure why she wanted to help him so badly, either. They hardly knew each other. For all she knew, he could be a cold-blooded killer. But no, she was sure Jay was innocent, and she liked him. He was different from her colleagues in patrol, different in a good way.

"So, let's see. What have you got?" She grabbed the papers from the table and looked through them. "You have quite a file on this guy," Hailey remarked.

"I've been watching him since he killed Ben Corson," Jay explained. "I have wanted to get him behind bars, for Ben. And to make sure Lonnie doesn't do it again."

Jay gave her all the information he had on Lonnie Rodiger, from the investigation of the Ben Corson case to the surveillance data he had obtained from Jin, to his own photos and notes. And told her everything that he had done the night before.

"I can see that they think you're a suspect," Hailey concluded after going through all the information. "You are obsessed with this guy."

Jay swallowed hard. "So you think I killed him?"

Hailey put down the papers and looked into Jay's eyes. She hardly knew the guy, and still she felt a connection to him. His eyes were so sincere, so open, and scared. She could understand why he wouldn't let go of this case, why he was so obsessed with it. Slowly she shook her head. "No, I don't think so."

Jay exhaled, only now noticing that he had held his breath. "Thank you," he said earnestly. "It means a lot that someone believes me, that YOU believe me."

"So, let's think about what we can do to prove your innocence," she quickly tried to lighten the mood.

* * *

"And you are convinced that Ben Corson's father is innocent?" Hailey asked after a while.

"Yes, absolutely," Jay confirmed.

"Because apart from you he would be the obvious suspect."

"I know," Jay agreed. "There aren't any other suspects, I'm afraid."

"Not at first glance, no." Hailey looked down, thinking. "Frankly, you are still the most obvious lead. And without knowing you, I would completely agree with your bosses."

"There is nothing else," Jay added. "I think I would agree with them too."

"It's either a random murder or someone we haven't thought about yet. We need to dig deeper."

"But not tonight, it's late already."

"Right, I have to be at work early," Hailey said. "I think I'll go home now."

They stood up and Jay walked Hailey to the door.

"Thank you so much for helping, Hailey," he repeated.

"You're welcome, Jay," she smiled. "We'll get you out of this mess."

Another brief hug and she was gone.

Jay went back into his living room, mechanically cleaned up the table, brought some order to all his papers, and went to bed.

What a strange day it had been. After a terrible start he had met someone who was willing to help him. And she was not only helpful and clever, but very pretty, too. But he didn't want to follow up on that thought, quickly tried to brush it away. Now was not the time.

Needless to say, he didn't sleep well. He was up every hour, and when he slept, he had weird dreams and nightmares.

* * *

Jay was up very early in the morning; and despite having close to no sleep at all, he was wide awake, and he looked presentable, when he showed up in Stilwell's Office in Internal Affairs.

They man gave him the creeps, there was something about him that Jay disliked from the first second. This man was dangerous. He was too smooth, and it was obvious to Jay that he looked for a scapegoat. And Jay was the perfect scapegoat. Sure, Stilwell told Jay that he wanted to help, but Jay didn't buy it.

Luckily, he didn't have much on Jay, only the photos of him driving his car behind Rodiger. Unless he had proof that Jay had killed Rodiger, it was nothing. Jay made that clear to Stilwell, and he left the office. Did that creep really think that he could force Jay to a confession with these photos and nothing else?

Still, Jay needed to find out who the actual killer was, because nobody else did. Everybody else was ready to blame it on Jay. He was alone, with a fellow female cop he had just met, and whom he trusted, for no reason at all. Jay cracked a smile when he left Stilwell's office.

If she was a good cop, she might actually be useful, together they might find the killer. Thank God for small favors.

* * *

On his way back to his car, Jay's phone rang. Antonio. Now that was a surprise. Antonio asked for a meeting. Jay wasn't sure if he should see that as a good sign, but the meeting was off the records. Nevertheless, he drove to the meeting point feeling a bit better. Perhaps someone else was on his side, someone from his unit.

When Antonio approached him, however, he punched Jay immediately, accused him of being an idiot. Jay defended himself, but before it turned into a heavy fistfight, both withdrew. And finally, Antonio asked Jay if he had killed Lonnie. Finally, someone from his unit bothered asking.

Jay told Antonio what he had told Hailey before, the truth. That he had wanted to kill him, back then, but hadn't. Antonio handed him the Rodiger homicide file and was gone again, leaving a stupefied Jay.

He didn't know what to think of it. Did Antonio help, against Voight's orders? If yes, why? To save his own skin, since he had brought Jay upstairs? If no, had Voight ordered Antonio to give him the file, but didn't want anyone to know? He knew that was a possibility. Intelligence often went against official orders. And you could never know what Voight really thought. Whatever it was, there was no use thinking about it too much. Now that he had the file, he might find something.

* * *

Back home he studied the homicide file thoroughly. It contained a lot of new information, all the details of when, where and how Lonnie had been found. He went through it bit by bit, comparing every piece of information with what he had collected before.

When he thought he found something, there was a knock on his door. Hailey?

Jay didn't know it was her for sure, therefore hid the pile of documents, so that not everything was visible to an accidental visitor.

When Jay opened the door, Al was standing outside. Jay had to admit, he was a bit disappointed. But of course, it was a nice surprise that his colleague dropped by.

"A man should not drink alone," Al just said and showed him a bottle of wine. With a grin, Jay stepped aside, and Al entered.

Jay produced two cheap glasses, which made Al smirk, and both had a sip of wine. When Jay tried to tell Al that he hadn't killed Lonnie, Al just shook his head. It didn't matter to him.

"While you're here, could I run something past you?" Jay asked.

Al sat down on the couch with him and looked at what Jay showed him. There were the surveillance photos showing Jay's car behind Lonnie Rodiger's car, a statement from Phil Rodiger, and photos Jay had taken.

Phil Rodiger had told the police that Lonnie hadn't come home the night before. But Jay had seen him enter the Rodiger house around 10pm.

Al nodded, but before he could say anything, there was another knock on the door. Jay flinched.

When he opened, Hailey stood there, smiling brightly. "Your personal police officer at your service, Detective Halstead."

Jay smiled involuntarily, but felt a bit awkward, when he let Hailey come inside. Al raised his eyebrows ever so slightly at their short hug and displayed an almost invisible grin.

"Hailey, that's Alvin Olinsky," he introduced the two, "Intelligence - Al, meet Patrol Officer Hailey Upton. She offered to help me with the investigation."

Al hardly reacted at all, briefly nodded at Hailey.

She decided to not make a big deal of the situation and sat down. "Got another glass, Jay?"

"Sure, if you don't mind trailer park style," Jay quickly produced a glass and poured Hailey some wine.

"We just met yesterday," he explained to Al, who waved his hands defensively.

"None of my business, kid."

"Nobody seemed to believe your colleague," Hailey said with a smile. "So I figured it's only fair if he got some help."

"Good," Al just said.

"Hey, I think we found something," Jay picked up the papers again, explained to Hailey what he had discovered. Phil Rodiger had lied about his son's whereabouts.

"He might know something," Hailey concluded. "What are we going to do about it?"

"Intelligence can hardly confront him with this, they don't know officially," Jay said.

"So we go and talk to him in the morning," Hailey concluded. "He knows more than he told the police so far."

"Are you sure you want to be in on this?" Jay asked. "It might get you into trouble."

"I can stay in the background," Hailey suggested. "Al, what do you think?"

Al nodded. "Sounds like a plan. Depending on what Rodiger says, we'll take it from there. I will make sure someone's in the office, in case you want to bring him in." With that Al excused himself and let Jay and Hailey alone.

"So, tomorrow your whole unit has something to gossip about?" Hailey said when Al was gone.

Jay shook his head. "Nah, I don't think so. Al keeps things to himself." Somehow, though, Jay liked the idea that there could be something worth gossiping about. Slowly, he relaxed a bit, leaned against the back of the couch.

Hailey smiled at him, he smiled back.

Not all was bad right now. He might get his badge back, and he was in great company.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Thank you all so much for your kind reviews, it really keeps me going**_

**Chapter 3**

In the morning Hailey excused herself from her patrol duty, telling her sergeant she had a special assignment, without going into detail, and drove to Jay's apartment.

When she stood at Jay's door, she had two coffees in her hands. It was past 9, and Jay was ready to go. Dressed in blue denims and a grey shirt that prominently displayed his biceps and broad shoulders.

What a handsome guy, Hailey noticed. The slightly disheveled short hair, the freckles, the green eyes, the muscular body. No, she reprimanded herself, don't go there. He's just a guy you met, and you want to help him. Nothing more. You have no time for relationships, right now your career is all that matters.

* * *

Jay yawned when he opened the door, but once he saw Hailey, he smiled.

"Now that's a sight I wouldn't mind every morning," he said. And she was. The big, warm smile on her face, the long blond hair, the blue eyes, the petite body in the big warm coat.

Both stared at each other for a second.

"Yeah, coffee," Hailey quickly said to break the silence. "I figured you might like that."

Thankful that she ended this moment of silence, Jay went back into the apartment, and Hailey followed.

"So, how are we going to play this?" she asked after a sip of coffee.

"Confront Phil Rodiger," Jay answered.

"And have him call the police?"

"I have to," Jay shrugged. "I'll knock on his door and ask. How else should I play this?"

"You could let me knock on his door," Hailey suggested. "Perhaps I can achieve more. He doesn't know me."

"But I won't let you enter his house on your own," Jay insisted. "You can knock and ask him, but do not go inside."

Hailey gave him a doubtful look. "Seriously?"

"Yes, seriously," Jay confirmed. "Too dangerous."

"OK," she shrugged. "You may have a point. If he invites me in, I will decline. Promise."

They briefly agreed on the questions Hailey should ask him, then were on their way to the Rodiger house.

* * *

As agreed, Hailey approached the door, with Jay staying in the car closely watching her. If anything looked dangerous or even slightly suspicious, Jay would be at the door in a second. But until then, Rodiger shouldn't see him.

However, Hailey's knocks weren't answered. Nobody was home. Hailey shrugged, looked through the door and the front windows, and then returned to the car.

"Should I ask around in the neighborhood?" Hailey suggested. "Someone might know where Rodiger is."

Jay shook his head. "I might have an idea," he said and started the car. He drove to a bar a few blocks away.

"I've been watching him and his son for too long," Jay explained. "Phil might be right here."

"You want to go inside alone?" Hailey asked doubtfully.

"I won't get anything out of him with you in uniform," Jay said. "And I doubt anything would happen to me in there."

"Are you sure?"

"I will have to try. At his door – that would have been different, but out in public, I will try, and I will behave."

"Call me and leave the line open so that I can listen to what's happening," Hailey said.

Jay nodded. That was a good idea; she could be a witness just in case Phil said something now that he would deny later.

* * *

Phil Rodiger was in the bar, and he wasn't pleased to see Jay.

Jay confronted him with the facts, and Rodiger's resistance crumbled.

Only a few minutes later Hailey saw Jay leaving the bar with Rodiger beside him. He opened the back door of his car, Rodiger sat down. Jay sat down in the driver's seat and started the car, briefly nodding towards Hailey.

They drove to 21st in silence, and Jay brought Rodiger upstairs to one of the interrogation rooms of the Intelligence department.

* * *

Hailey waited downstairs until Jay came back. Hailey sat down on the bench in the entrance hall trying to look as if she knew what she was doing. It took almost an hour before Jay came back down the stairs.

"What did he say?" Hailey asked, when Jay returned.

"He killed his son," Jay answered. "My colleagues interrogate him right now."

"So you were right," Hailey said with a smile. "And you will be back in Intelligence."

"Yeah," Jay nodded, and added a bit coyly. "Sorry that I won't be sent to patrol?"

She laughed briefly and a bit nervously. "I would like to work with you," she admitted.

"Me too," Jay said quietly. "Hey, I want to go and see the Corsons and tell them about it. How about a drink and some food tonight? As a thank you."

Hailey looked at him. "I would love that."

She wasn't sure if that was a date or just a thank you, or anything in between. But at least it meant that this wasn't over – whatever *this* was.

* * *

Phil Rodiger confessed that he had killed his son, after finding out that Lonnie was actually a pedophile, something Phil had not wanted to believe for so long.

That case was closed. Jay got his badge back, and suddenly all his colleagues were friendly again, happy that he was back, which left a slightly bitter taste with Jay. Was there anyone in the unit he could trust? Perhaps Al, but apart from that?

He declined meeting with the others at Molly's in the evening. It didn't feel quite right.

Before he left the office, Erin held him back. "Glad everything turned out ok for you," she said.

Jay just nodded.

"Hey, who was the blonde in uniform?" Erin asked.

Jay shrugged, pretending it was nothing. "Just a cop I know."

Erin raised her eyebrows, not quite buying it. But before she could say anything else, Jay left the office.

* * *

First he drove to the Corsons' house, told them what he had found out.

They invited him over for dinner, told him that their daughter Allie, Jay's high school sweetheart, was back from Phoenix for a few days, and would like to meet Jay. Jay declined this invitation for that day too. He would have liked to see Allie again, but right now his head was full of other things, so he left.

Before going home, however, he drove to the cemetery, to visit Ben Corson's grave. He felt that he needed to go there, have a drink, "tell" Ben that his killer had been punished – finally. That was the closure he – Jay – needed.

It was difficult to leave Ben's grave, but Jay hadn't forgotten that he wanted to meet with Hailey. _To properly thank her, _he told himself.

But in fact, he was looking forward to seeing her, more than he wanted to admit.

* * *

At home he took a quick shower, got dressed – with more care than in the morning – they were going to a proper restaurant, after all. Dark denims, a light green button-down shirt, his black leather jacket against the cold. And suddenly he was nervous. Until now he and Hailey had only met over the case, so there had always been some _business_ to talk about. What would it be like tonight? She seemed nice and sweet, but would they have anything in common except for his case? And would she expect more than just a friendly thank-you dinner? The actual question, however, was: what did he expect, what did he want? He was definitely attracted to Hailey, but did he want to jump into a relationship so quickly? And what about Erin, his partner? There had been some attraction between the two of them, but Voight had stopped that right in the beginning, since he didn't allow relationships within his team. So Jay had already moved on. And Erin hadn't been exactly supportive during the Rodiger case; also she seemed to be into this firefighter, Severide. Fine with him, Jay thought. Right now, there was someone else on his mind, someone he couldn't stop thinking about, and who had been supportive more than anyone else.

* * *

Jay decided to try and be relaxed about the evening. He tried not to expect anything but a fun evening. But his mind always wandered to Hailey. And when he finally arrived at her doorstep to pick her up, he was quite nervous.

He rang the doorbell, his fingers tapping nervously on the door frame. After what seemed an eternity, the door was opened, and Hailey stood there. Jay swallowed hard. Her blond hair, which he had so far seen only in a ponytail, was hanging loosely over her shoulders, and the light from behind let it shine brightly. She wasn't dressed up too much, just dark blue denims and a tight grey top, and to Jay she looked amazing. His smile met hers, and both looked at each other for an endless few seconds. _Man, she's cute, _he thought.

"Ready?" Jay finally asked.

"Oh yes," Hailey smiled at him.

Automatically Jay helped her into her coat, then opened the door to his car for her.

"Wow," she grinned. "The perfect gentleman."

Jay blushed, hoping she wouldn't notice, and quickly went over to the driver's side, hopped into the car.

_He's blushing,_ she noticed. _That's sweet._

* * *

He had booked a table in a nice, not too fancy but very good Italian restaurant, which was far away from the places he and Intelligence usually frequented – he wanted to be alone with Hailey, without having to explain anything to anybody.

Hailey was flattered by how Jay treated her that evening. First helping her into the coat, opening the passenger door to his car for her, the restaurant. She had been nervous before he arrived, but right now she was only happy to be in his company. A very handsome, charming and nice guy. She had missed that for too long. The restaurant he had chosen was exactly what she liked: not too fancy, yet cozy, full of normal people, and the food was amazing. After the awkward few seconds when Jay picked her up, they quickly relaxed in each other's company and had a pleasant evening. They didn't talk all that much, but the moments of silence felt good, not weird. And they smiled a lot. _Yes, there were a lot of smiles_, Hailey thought.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Hailey didn't invite Jay inside, when he dropped her off at her place that night. They briefly hugged, and Jay drove right home. He felt good again. He had his job back, solved the case, and there was Hailey.

Over the next days, Jay didn't have a chance to talk to Hailey again, however; Intelligence was deep into several cases.

First there was a bank robbery with several victims, and then the explosion at Chicago Med, which kept Jay busy. He and Hailey exchanged a few text messages, but nothing more, simply due to lack of time. When he came home at night, Jay fell into bed almost immediately, not able to go out for drinks or even to have a longer conversation on the phone, he was simply too exhausted. But nevertheless, he made a point to text Hailey each night, he wanted her to know that he was thinking about her, that it wasn't only about the Rodiger case.

* * *

The bank robbery turned homicide was a big case, but nothing too personal. The unit solved it within a few days, and that was it.

The explosion at Chicago Med felt different, however. Burgess' niece was severely injured and might have died. This was personal for the 21st, and for Intelligence. The case was complicated, it took them a while to solve it, but finally it was done.

Jay was relieved, also relieved that Kim's niece was going to be fine. When it was over, he wanted to go to bed and not wake up for several days. That was of course not feasible. And not Jay's thing.

First of all, Jay drove to Erin's house. She had been attacked, so Jay thought he should drop by. She was his partner, after all, and he should make sure she was okay.

So he drove to her place, before even going home, and parked his car. He was just about to get out of his car, when he saw Severide's car approaching. Severide parked a few yards away from him, and Jay stayed put, watched Severide leave the car and go into Erin's apartment block.

Right, he was not needed here. His partner was fine without him. And somehow, he was glad he didn't have to go upstairs.

* * *

Jay started his car again and drove home. Even though he was exhausted, he didn't want to spend the evening alone, he decided. Sometimes it wasn't good to be alone too much.

And he had to admit to himself that he already missed Hailey and her upbeat spirit. He could use that right now, someone who smiled, who spread positive vibes, who liked to spend time with him, with Jay Halstead.

He dialed Hailey's number.

"Care for some Chinese takeout?" he asked, when she picked up the phone.

"Sure, always," she answered immediately, happy that Jay called. She hadn't been sure they would keep in contact after the Rodiger case was solved, despite the text messages, but she didn't want to push too hard. Perhaps she had imagined Jay's flirting, and she would make a fool of herself.

Therefore, it was a pleasant surprise to have him on the phone. Her heart skipped a beat.

"OK, I'll bring some over," Jay announced. "Be with you in an hour."

* * *

Exactly one hour later he stood at Hailey's front door, takeout food and a six-pack of beer in his hands.

"Beer delivery," Jay grinned at her, and Hailey couldn't help but grin back at him.

"How was your day?" she asked, when they sat on her couch.

"Difficult," Jay answered. "But that part is over now, which is good."

"Tell me about it," Hailey encouraged him.

"The explosion. Anti-government idiots trying to kill numerous people. My partner had a knife to her throat. My colleague's niece was severely injured and almost died. Another girl died."

Hailey nodded, understanding.

Jay was grateful she didn't ask further or offer advice, and exactly that made him talk. "It was a bit too much for one day, you know? You see dead bodies, sure. Your partner might be in danger. And everything else, stuff happens. But if everything happens within 24 hours, it can be a lot. I should be used to it from my time in Afghanistan, yet…"

"You were in Afghanistan?"

"Rangers."

Hailey nodded again, put her hand on his arm. "You must have seen a lot of bad stuff."

"Yeah."

"Therapy?"

Jay shrugged. "A bit."

"I see," Hailey smiled softly. So no proper therapy. And the issues were still there, lingering. No wonder today had been tough on him. A wave of emotions hit her, she put a comforting hand on his arm.

"And how was your day?" Jay was trying to move the focus from his time in the army, Hailey noticed.

"It was ok," she answered quickly. "Everyone was investigating the bombing, but our team was not as involved as yours, obviously."

"Doesn't matter, it's still tough."

"That's right," Hailey agreed. "Just to see how this big part of Chicago Med collapsed, to know how many people died there."

She looked down, thinking about the day.

Slowly, carefully, as if he expected to be pushed away, Jay moved closer to Hailey, put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer.

Hailey hadn't expected that, but she didn't push Jay away. It was just what she needed right now – and Jay too, she assumed. She smiled at him, he smiled back. Then she leaned against him, and bit by bit the tension that had built up in both during the day, vanished.

Both were silent for a while, let their minds wander, thinking about what had happened during the day, about what was happening here.

At some point Jay dozed off, and his head fell against Hailey's. She noticed but didn't move. Jay was tired, she told herself, let him rest for a bit. And it was kind of cute, she had to admit, cute and flattering. He trusted her enough to relax in her company.

* * *

When Jay woke up, he was disoriented. He didn't remember right away where he was, and his first impulse was to run. But he remembered quickly. He was at Hailey's place. And the body he was leaning on was hers.

"Should I be flattered you feel so comfortable in my company?" Hailey asked with a grin. "Or should I be upset because you are so bored that you fall asleep?"

Jay looked at her, a bit ashamed. Was she flirting with him? Her grin was definitely teasing, and he couldn't help but smile back at her. He always had to smile back at her. Her smile was so bright and full of life, and so contagious. And it felt so good that she smiled at him, that he made her smile.

"Definitely not bored," he answered, looking into her blue eyes. Suddenly he felt his heart beat faster in his chest, and before he could think about what he was doing, he leaned closer and kissed her.

Taken by surprise, Hailey didn't react at first, so Jay pulled back. "Sorry," he whispered. But Hailey shook her head, slowly realizing what was happening. "I'm not sorry," she said with a smile, slipped her hands around the back of his head and neck and kissed him.

With a moan, Jay pulled her closer, answered her kiss. At first their kisses were soft and tentative, but quickly they became more passionate, and their hands moved all over the other's body.

Jay slipped one hand under Hailey's shirt, caressed the soft skin.

"Want to take this to the bedroom?" Hailey asked, already out of breath.

"Oh yes," he just answered, which made Hailey laugh into his mouth. Unable to take their hands off each other, they stood up, Hailey took Jay's hand and led him to the bedroom, leaving a trail of clothes on the way.

* * *

Later, Hailey lay in Jay's arms, her head on his chest. Her fingers softly caressed his skin. Jay woke up reluctantly, placed a kiss on her head.

"You know, I didn't plan that," he whispered.

"You didn't?" she asked back. "Neither did I, but it was nice."

"Nice?" Jay chuckled. "Just nice?"

Hailey laughed, then lifted her head up to look at his face. "It was more than nice, Jay."

"Yeah, it was," he answered, pleased with her answer.

"You're not leaving now, are you?" Hailey asked, a bit afraid of the answer. She enjoyed being with him too much to just let him go.

"Not if you want me to stay," he answered. "But I need to go home in the morning before work. Can't go to work in my clothes from last night."

"That's fine, Jay," Hailey agreed. "Just stay the night."

"I'm not going anywhere."

* * *

In the early morning Hailey woke up and saw Jay next to her, looking at her. She felt self-conscious with him staring at her, until she noticed the soft look in his green eyes, these eyes that seemed to caress her whole body.

Jay lay on his side, head propped up on his hand, admiring Hailey. _She's so beautiful_, he thought. His hands soon followed his gaze, slowly caressing her. Hailey smiled at him, savoring his tender touch. What a perfect way to start the day.

"Jay, is this a one-night stand or more?" Hailey needed to know.

"It is whatever you want," he answered. "I'm here as long as you want me to." Jay's eyes suddenly showed some worry. "I don't want it to be just tonight."

"Neither do I, Jay."

Relieved, Jay leaned down and kissed Hailey softly. There was still time before he had to leave for the day.

In the end something really good had come out of this whole Rodiger-mess, he thought. He was so grateful for Hailey. He was falling for her, falling hard.


	5. Chapter 5

_This next chapter moves the story three years ahead, to the end of season 4, when Hailey joins Intelligence in episode "Fagin". _

_The following chapters will be linked to the actual episodes. I won't re-tell all parts of the cases, only summarize them (as you will probably know all the episodes in detail anyway), and go into detail where it is important for this story. _

_I hope you like where this is going. And once again, thank you so much for the great reviews_

_**Part 2 **_

**Chapter 5**

The day started with a weird conversation between Jay and Erin over breakfast. He tried to tell his ex-girlfriend a story about this couple that lived in two separate houses and made the relationship work. Erin didn't think it was funny or even interesting, instead she made him feel bad with just a few words. And she was an expert in that field. If that was how their work partnership would work after their break-up, he was up for rough times. Thank God this conversation was cut short, when they were called to a crime scene. Relieved Jay stood up, and they headed outside, towards the Credit Union a few blocks away.

* * *

The Credit Union had been robbed, and several people had been shot. Jay and Erin secured the scene, called the ambulance, took care of the victims, and soon enough Sergeant Voight joined his detectives. They explained what had happened, when suddenly someone in the background gave orders to the officer working there.

Jay froze. Could that be? He managed to turn around slowly, in sync with the others, and keep his emotions to himself, while the person, to whom this voice belonged, approached.

Only Jay noticed that Hailey stopped for an instance, noticing Jay's presence, before she started talking to Voight.

"Detective Upton, Robbery-Homicide," Hailey introduced herself.

"Hank Voight, Intelligence," Sergeant Voight answered, a suspicious look on his face.

"Well, I appreciate the help, Sergeant," Hailey continued. "But as of now this is my scene."

Jay noticed that Erin looked quite surprised at Hailey's demeanor.

"My team recovered evidence and saved a woman's life," Voight replied. "We're running point."

"Make sure those shell casings are photo'd, bagged and tagged," Hailey said to the officer, then turned back to Voight and his team. "I've been after this crew for the last three weeks."

"Then why did my team respond first?" Voight asked Hailey, briefly glancing at Jay and Erin. Jay frowned slightly and stared at his former girlfriend. So Hailey was a detective now. And a very confident one, too. Good for her.

He tried to stay out of it, as he didn't know yet how to play this. He didn't want to give it away to Voight and Erin that he knew Hailey. He preferred to wait with that revelation until it was clear how this situation would turn out.

"I'm from Robbery-Homicide," Hailey said coolly. "There's been a robbery and a homicide here. So I'd appreciate it if you vacated my crime scene."

Raised eyebrows on Voight's and Erin's side, a barely hidden smirk from Jay. Hailey had definitely changed, and Jay liked that change.

Jay and Hailey exchanged a brief look, before Jay left the scene with his colleagues.

* * *

_Three years earlier _

Jay and Hailey were in love, madly in love. They spent as much time together as possible, which to be honest wasn't nearly as much time as they wanted. They couldn't keep their hands off each other, but that was by far not all that mattered. Jay appreciated Hailey's support, he could talk to her about his cases, about his doubts about working with Voight, and about all the tiny little things that happened at work. She understood. Hailey loved it that Jay never looked down on her for being a patrol officer only, or for being a female cop, that he always valued her opinion, and when asked for it always gave good advice on her job and her career.

They seemed to be a match made in heaven and spent a glorious summer together. Whenever they didn't work, they were away from the city, on the lake, in a cabin in the woods, riding their bikes.

Jay had overcome his annoyance with the Intelligence unit for not backing him up during the Rodiger case, he gained self-confidence in his job. He even managed to stand up to Voight when Voight wanted to drown Pulpo. As much as Jay detested the criminal who had shot Antonio and killed other cops, he could not let Voight murder the man. Jay was afraid to lose his job over that, yet Hailey had supported him. And in the end, Voight accepted Jay's interference, Jay's moral compass. Jay was sure that without Hailey he wouldn't have had the courage to stand up to his boss.

Hailey was a patrol officer at the time, but it was already obvious that she would climb higher up the ladder. She was ambitious, passionate and capable, and her superiors noticed. And Jay's experience on the job helped her tremendously.

For no reason at all, however, both kept their relationship a secret from their colleagues. They never went to Molly's together, nor did they frequent other bars and restaurants where they might meet fellow cops. They didn't even discuss it, it just happened. Both felt safer when keeping their love life separate from their professional life.

Just like other couples, they had their fights, of course. But nothing major, basically everything was perfect.

* * *

One day, however, when Hailey arrived at Jay's place, Jay knew immediately that something was wrong. She didn't look into Jay's eyes, was unusually quiet and serious.

With a sigh she sat down on his couch.

A sick feeling in his stomach, Jay sat down beside Hailey. "Hon, what is it?" he asked softly. "What happened?"

Hailey looked down, and Jay could see that she fought tears. The sick feeling in his stomach grew worse. "Hailey, honey, what's wrong?"

"Jay, we need to talk," she finally looked up, looked into his eyes.

_Oh no, that can't be good _Jay thought. But he just nodded. "Sure, let's talk."

"You remember that I told you about the new job I applied for?"

"Sure, did you get the job?" Jay smiled. "You deserve it."

Hailey nodded and briefly smiled back at Jay. "I did."

"But…?"

"But I didn't know it's a special assignment."

"Okay…" Jay's eyes widened.

"They want me to go deep undercover," Hailey answered quietly. "For a long time, perhaps a year or longer. With no contact to anyone at home whatsoever, not my family, not my friends, not my boyfriend."

"I see," Jay said. He knew that Hailey was ambitious, and he loved her for it.

"Jay…"

"Shhh," Jay interrupted her. He needed to be strong, he couldn't stand in her way. Because he loved her, he couldn't hold her back. "Hailey, do you want that job?"

"Yes, Jay," an insecure smile.

"Then you must take it," Jay tried a brave smile, but failed miserably. Nevertheless, he continued, "Hailey, I hate to let you go, but you can't let this opportunity slip just because of me. You would never forgive me."

"But I'm in love with you, I don't want to lose you."

"And I'm in love with you, Hailey. I don't want to lose you either." Jay assured her. "And if fate or God or whatever wants us to be together, then we will be together eventually."

"You think?"

"I am sure of that," Jay answered, sounding more confident than he was. This was breaking his heart. "When does this assignment start?"

"In a week from now," Hailey answered meekly.

"Then let's make the best of this week, OK?" Jay tried a smile, which didn't turn out quite right. Hailey nodded and let herself fall into Jay's arms. She buried her head in his chest and let tears fall. Jay held her close, tried to be strong. Life could be cruel.

* * *

_Today_

On the way back to the precinct, Jay was unusually quiet, remembering that summer with Hailey, and the last week especially. It broke his heart that he had to let her go, but he was convinced it was the right thing to do.

Erin didn't notice, as she was going on and on about that insolent detective from Robbery-Homicide. How could she just kick them off their crime scene, how could she treat them and Voight like that?

Jay didn't answer.

"Hey, somehow this Detective Upton looked familiar," Erin suddenly said.

Jay flinched briefly, looked at her. "You think?"

"Or perhaps I took her for someone else," Erin immediately shrugged it off. It didn't matter to her.

* * *

Back in the office, Jay was still pondering about how to contact Hailey, when she suddenly stood right there in the office.

Unfortunately, she accidentally spilled coffee over Sergeant Platt's shirt because she was quite agitated, so her first meeting with the whole team was not what it should have been.

Jay felt sorry for her, wanted to jump to her side in support; yet he only gave her a quick look of reassurance, he wasn't sure she noticed before she headed for Voight's office.

And when she left Voight's office again after a few short minutes, Jay could tell she wasn't happy; she was furious.

Al glanced in Jay's direction, clearly remembering Hailey from back when they had met at Jay's apartment during the Rodiger case, but apart from a raised eyebrow, he didn't comment.

Thank God for Al, Jay thought.

He desperately wanted to follow Hailey downstairs to talk to her, but it would have been too obvious, he decided. It had to wait.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

For the moment, Jay couldn't follow up on Hailey, as the investigation was taking up all his time. After a false lead, an arrest and work late into the night, they went through Hailey's files the next morning and had a new lead to follow. The bank robbery crew targeted Credit Unions, which provided easy access and a fast escape route.

Therefore, Jay and Erin headed off to another Credit Union that matched these criteria, to check the surveillance footage. Yet in the exact same moment they were checking it, the Credit Union was targeted. While pursuing the offenders, Erin shot one – a 15-year-old boy –, and another one was arrested.

* * *

Back at 21st, Jay found out that Voight had asked Hailey to join in on the investigation. But before he had time to process this, she was gone again. Together with Voight, Adam and Kevin, Hailey paid a visit to the used car garage owned by Lavar Spann, Hailey's main suspect in the case.

Later that day, Jay worked with Hailey directly for the first time.

"You look good," Jay whispered in Hailey's direction on their way downstairs.

She flashed him a brief smile. "You too, Jay."

And that was it for the moment.

They were hidden in a surveillance van placed out of Spann's garage. Hailey was in the back taking photos, while Jay sat in the front with Al.

Even though he didn't want to talk to Hailey privately while Al was there, he just couldn't stop himself from teasing her.

"Rumor has it you were meritoriously promoted to detective, is that right?" he said matter-of-factly.

"Yeah, that's right," Hailey answered with a grin.

"What, you shake your feathers in front of the right commander, or is your uncle an alderman?" Al chipped in.

Both Jay and Hailey could barely suppress a laugh. Funny, how comfortable they already felt in each other's company after all those years.

"I was undercover for a year, so put that in your pipe and smoke it."

Jokingly Jay asked for more information but was finally cut short by Hailey.

"No offense, but this is the first time in the back of your van," she quipped.

They shared a smile and a wink, before concentrating on the garage again. Jay was literally waiting for Al to say something, but his colleague just observed the exchange with a smirk. Oh, he would mention it sooner or later, Jay was sure of that. This was getting more and more interesting.

* * *

The case took more turns, two more dead boys, another suspect, but Intelligence could finally close it. They arrested the killer of the two boys as well as Spann, and they even made sure the boy in custody, Corey Jenkins, was taken care of as best as possible under the circumstances. Too many casualties, but at least one boy had a chance to lead a good life once he turned 18.

* * *

Jay wasn't sure if he had missed his chance to talk to Hailey. He was still sitting in the locker room, thinking, when he heard Hailey talking to Trudy Platt. Now that was a surprise. After their rocky start, their voices sounded soft and friendly. Slowly and carefully Jay approached. Perhaps he could slip out of the precinct directly behind Hailey and talk to her. He didn't want to interrupt, however, and overheard their conversation. Hailey had become a cop because of Trudy? Wow. Trudy would always love Hailey for that confession. She would always have backup here in 21st. He smiled to himself. As soon as he heard Hailey leaving, he casually walked outside, too.

If Trudy Platt noticed that he followed Hailey, she didn't comment on it.

"Hailey, wait," Jay whispered into the darkness once the door was closed.

"Yeah?"

Jay flinched; she stood close to him, leaning on to the wall. He could almost feel her gaze, see her raised eyebrows.

"Can we talk, please?" he asked.

"Sure."

"My car? It's cold out here."

Hailey slipped into Jay's car, immediately taking in the familiar scent. Yes, she had missed Jay, a lot. They had been good together.

"You ok?" she asked.

"I guess," Jay answered reluctantly. "And you?"

"Better than expected. It seems we work together now."

"Do we?" Jay said.

"Voight offered me a spot in Intelligence. Are you ok with that?" Hailey looked at him. "Because if not, I will decline Voight's offer."

"Don't decline," Jay quickly said. "I would love to work with you. For all I know you're a good cop. Are *we* ok working together?"

"Yes, we are," Hailey reassured him.

After a moment of silence, she added, "So you and Erin?"

Jay frowned, surprised. "How?"

"I'm a good cop, remember?" Hailey laughed. "So, you two are an item."

Jay shook his head. "We were, for a while. But not anymore."

"Sorry to hear that. What happened?"

"That's a long story," Jay said, unwilling to go into detail just now. "What about you?"

"Yeah, there was someone," Hailey admitted. "But that's another long story. We should catch up soon, ok?"

"Absolutely."

"And now go and celebrate your birthday."

Jay looked at her, even more surprised.

"Hey, I do remember your birthday."

"Yes, you do." Jay smiled. "Without your Google calendar," he added more to himself.

"What?"

"Nothing, Hailey."

Hailey opened the door of Jay's car, ready to get out. "See you in the office tomorrow, Jay Halstead."

"See you tomorrow, Hailey Upton," Jay answered. "And just so you know – I'm really glad we work together."

"So am I."

* * *

Still smiling Jay drove to Molly's. He knew his colleagues wanted to throw him a surprise party, and he couldn't let them wait much longer. He had told Hailey the truth, he loved the idea that they would be working together. Sure, it would turn out interesting with Erin there. Even though Erin didn't know about their former relationship, he had a feeling these two might not become best friends. They would clash eventually, simply because of who they were. Not one better or worse than the other, but too different. And he might end up in the middle, if he wasn't careful. He wasn't worried about Hailey, though. She had changed in these three years. She was still cute as hell, and so soft and sweet, but she was tougher, harder than he remembered her. The long undercover assignment must have been difficult, and these things change a person.

He had changed too, for sure. The tough cases, the times his life had been in danger, Erin – all that had left an impact. He was not the same man he had been three years ago, just like Hailey wasn't the same woman.

Jay wasn't quite sure about their future relationship. He had barely broken up with Erin, and it was still messy, uncomfortable. He was attracted to Hailey, but he knew he shouldn't fall right back into her arms. That would be unfair to all of them, to Erin, to Hailey, and to himself. He had been serious about Erin, he couldn't just leave it all behind in an instant. And he wasn't even sure if he still had these feelings for Hailey, or if it were just the memories. Or if she still had feelings for him. Yes, he needed to be careful for once, not go just by impulse, but be considerate. He couldn't risk messing up their lives by jumping head over heels into a new relationship. He would welcome the renewed friendship and camaraderie with Hailey, but that would be it for the moment.

* * *

Hailey drove home, thinking about the situation. A lot had happened within just two days. A case that seemed normal was suddenly taken away from her, she had a job offer in a great unit, actually in the best unit in CPD, and she met her ex-boyfriend again. The boyfriend, with whom she had been madly in love. Breaking up with him had been a huge sacrifice for the job, and until this day she wasn't quite sure if it had been worth it. They had both changed, they had grown up, had matured in their jobs. Jay was still terribly handsome, charming, sweet, but there was a darker aura about him now. It made him even more attractive, sure, but that was not the point.

He had been in a serious relationship with another woman. While he had said that this relationship was over, Hailey wondered if that was true. She had watched the two of them, and there was still a lot going on between them. Things Jay needed to figure out.

Simply restarting her relationship with Jay was clearly out of the question. Some part of her wanted to do just that, but the reasonable part of her knew this shouldn't happen anytime soon. She was just about to start her job in Intelligence, *his*team, and she couldn't start in this unit by dating her co-worker. While she wanted to be on good, on friendly terms with Jay, she needed to keep her distance. And over time it should become easier. If she was to stay in Intelligence, she would have to find her place there, build a good professional and personal relationship with the whole team, not just Jay. And perhaps one day, they would both be ready to renew their relationship, if they still wanted that.

* * *

Jay in fact got a "surprise" birthday party at Molly's. Kevin and Adam were there, the three of them had a pleasant yet superficial conversation. Erin stopped by, gave him a ridiculously expensive bottle of cognac, and was gone again. Sure, she was still thinking about the boy she had shot, but Jay figured there might be other reasons for her to leave so quickly.

He tried to hold her back, make her talk. She accepted his comforting hug, but that was all. Erin didn't want to talk to Jay, didn't want him to support her.

Jay went back to the bar, to his colleagues. It still didn't feel good that Erin pushed him away, whenever something was bothering her.

That was one huge difference between Hailey and Erin. Erin never really opened up to him, not the way Hailey used to – back then. Also, Hailey had always been the one to ask if he was ok, only Hailey. Yes, his relationship with Erin was definitely over, Jay noticed. It had been fun at times, but not healthy at other times, not healthy for either of them.

Still, he needed to keep his distance from Hailey. Her new job would be difficult enough, he shouldn't add any problems to that by pursuing her romantically. She would do just fine, and he would be there to support her if necessary. As a friend. And perhaps one day there would be more. One day.


	7. Chapter 7

_This chapter is a wrap-up of season 4, more Upstead stuff will follow in the next chapters after this one. So bear with me, please. The next chapter will be published right away, to give you more original Upstead content_

**Chapter 7**

When Hailey came to work in the morning, her first shift as a member of Intelligence – for the moment temporary member – started nicely. Kevin and Adam greeted her, enthusiastic about the food she brought – Greek loucomades – and so did Al.

The upbeat spirit was gone quickly, though.

Jay was in the break room with Erin right before work started. She showed him a bracelet her mother had given her earlier. Jay was suspicious immediately. He knew Bunny always had her own agenda, especially when she showed up suddenly being nice to Erin. It usually meant that she wanted something. But Erin didn't share his concerns or even want his opinion on this, she got angry at Jay right away. Both stormed out of the room.

Hailey watched the scene unfold before her eyes. Now, these two looked like fun.

Voight reacted directly, by deciding to finally split up Jay and Erin as partners, have Jay move to another desk, and instead partner Erin with Hailey.

What a great idea. Hailey would have preferred anybody over Erin, especially in her current foul mood, but she didn't have a say.

She briefly looked at Jay, feeling guilty, but he comforted her with a quick gesture. They were good. This had nothing to do with her.

Jay wasn't happy that his partnership with Erin was over, and he was especially not happy with Voight's reaction, when he complained. Why exactly should HE leave if he didn't like it? He was doing what Voight had asked him to do – he tried to look out for Erin. And he was the bad guy for it. Fine, for Voight he was exchangeable, Erin had priority. Good to know.

* * *

There was no time to think about this or get used to the new situation, as a new case suddenly was on their desks, which required immediate action. A man burned to death, and the whole procedure was live on the internet.

The unit was on the way to the location immediately but could only recover the lifeless body. A gory sight. It took a while to process that.

Jay and Al were out on the street soon again, following a lead.

When they walked to the car, Al looked at Jay.

"You know that thing with Voight up there?" he said.

"Yeah, what about it?"

"He should have done it a long time ago," Al continued. "You know there's a line, Jay, and it's there for a reason."

"Well, hold on," Jay protested. "My relationship with Erin never interfered with my job."

"You're not a good judge, man."

"You saying it did?" Jay didn't believe what he heard.

"It's only a matter of time, man. Every cop in the city would kill for your job. Why jeopardize that?"

"I blew it," Jay said, a bit dejected.

"No. You still got a job, you still got a desk." Al replied.

"No. I blew it with Erin."

Al just looked at him. That was probably true.

"So, Jay," Al continued when they were driving.

Jay flinched. "Yeah?"

"What's with Upton?"

"What about her?"

"Kid, don't play me!" Raised eyebrows.

Jay smirked. "No drama, Al. We've known each other three years ago, that's it."

"I know, Jay. Just be careful. Don't go for a repeat."

And the conversation was over.

* * *

Jay was still angry about what had happened earlier. Yes, he had blown it with Erin, and he knew it. But he was more annoyed with Voight, to be honest. Jay knew the relationship with Erin was over, the incident that morning was just kind of an aftershock. Yet Voight's reaction made Jay think even more about his job. Was he in the right place? Thank God for his colleagues. For Al. For Hailey. He needed to keep a low profile for a while, perhaps that would take the heat off him.

Right now, he had to worry about the case anyway. They drove to the owner of the car they found at the scene, the victim's aunt, and found out more about the young man.

Back in the office, Jay and Hailey collected all new findings on the whiteboard.

The victim was identified as Elijah Hendricks and traced back to Indiana, where he had been convicted as a sex offender, allegedly because he had had sex with his underage girlfriend, who was white, while he was black.

Voight decided that Hailey and Erin should drive to Crown Point, Indiana, to follow up on this.

Well, if that wasn't a perfect start, Hailey thought.

* * *

Once in the road, Hailey was pretty amazed by the car. Now that was a proper ride.

She decided to try and talk to Erin, make the ride a bit less awkward.

"So you and Halstead, you guys were partners for a while?" she casually asked Erin.

"Yeah," Erin just answered.

"I didn't mean to throw sand in the gears."

"No, don't worry about it," Erin shrugged it off. "It was probably time for a change anyway."

And that was the end of this discussion.

_OK_, Hailey thought,_ if she doesn't want to talk to me, fine. And if she thinks it was time for a change, also regarding their relationship, even better. Because if Erin ever finds out that Jay and I were a couple, things might get uncomfortable._

* * *

The rest of the way they didn't talk too much. However, once they were in Crown Point, Indiana, they worked well together. They had each other's back with the local police, the former girlfriend Beth Murphy, and especially her current boyfriend, Jake Harper, who clearly didn't think much of women in general, and female cops specifically. While Jake Harper clearly wasn't a suspect in the case, they got a lead from him, which led them back to Chicago.

So while these two clearly wouldn't become best friends anytime soon, Hailey now knew that Erin would still back her up, just like she would back Erin up while on the job.

* * *

Back in Chicago their new lead was another dead end, the guy who posted videos of alleged pedophiles on the internet was not the killer, but they could persuade him to help. Meanwhile a second man was killed, burned alive just like Elijah.

They created a fake perv hunter video with Al portraying a pedophile and then waited for something to happen.

While on stakeout, Jay once again tried to talk to Voight about the situation, but once again Voight shut him town, threatening him with losing his job if he continued this discussion. Before Jay could get himself into more trouble by trying to argue with his boss, someone approached the door to the house in which Al was sitting as a bait.

And now things got even scarier.

The new suspect for the murder of pedophiles, Jeremy Pettigrew, was most probably a pedophile too, and they found evidence that he held a boy hostage.

Now they needed results - fast.

And suddenly Erin flipped. She had interrogated the man with Hailey, and once she heard that there was a boy out there, she took her gun and threatened Pettigrew by putting it right into his mouth.

Hailey was watching, unsure of what to do. She couldn't hold Erin back, wasn't sure if she wanted to, because a boy's life was in danger, but she didn't want to risk her career either.

Erin's approach was successful, the man gave her the location of the abducted boy.

But they were too late. The rest of the unit found the car, in which the boy was held; yet they could only recover his lifeless body. Jay tried to resuscitate the child, but he didn't succeed. The boy was dead.

That was the day in just a few words. Everyone was devastated that they couldn't save the boy, especially Jay. And Erin was under investigation for the way she treated their suspect.

A lot for Hailey to process. Her new partner was called to a hearing for a serious offence, and she, Hailey, was part of this. She was new to the unit, so everyone was unsure of how and if she would back up Erin. And Hailey didn't know what that would mean for her job.

Even though Hailey was not completely in agreement with how Erin had handled the suspect, she made it clear to the team, in this case to Trudy Platt, that she would not incriminate Erin. She understood everyone's worry, but to herself it was the obvious thing to back up her team and her partner.

Nevertheless, Erin's actions were under investigation.

* * *

And the next case Intelligence was confronted with would turn out even worse, for the unit and especially for Erin.

It concerned Erin's mother.

Bunny had called Erin to her home one morning, because her boyfriend had been shot.

Surely Intelligence would take over this case, but Voight made it clear that Erin couldn't be involved. She was under investigation and her mother was a suspect – two good reasons to keep her out of it.

The following days were crazy – Erin's mom was very much involved in the murder of her boyfriend Johnny Martelli and in a drug deal, and a lot was done under the radar. Voight seemed to pull a lot of strings, work with a lot of people without telling the team what he was doing.

Jay tried to keep the balance between maintaining a low profile regarding Erin and being supportive to her, but failing miserably – or so he thought; while Hailey tried to make sense of it and keep her cool.

In the end the case was handed over to the FBI, and PD was out. This was not a satisfying ending, as they couldn't pursue the murder, but there was nothing else they could do.

* * *

The hearing was cut short, Hailey was interviewed only for a few minutes and couldn't make any sense of it. All further interviews were cancelled, she wouldn't face any disciplinary action. For her it was a good result, but it was still unclear what this meant for Erin or the unit.

She briefly talked to Trudy afterwards, confiding in her, but she felt as lost as Hailey. Things were very much unclear.

They all met at Molly's in the evening, to calm down, to wrap up the investigation, and both Jay and Hailey hoped to find out what would happen to Erin. They knew they wouldn't get any further information on the case, Voight had made that clear. Everything was with the FBI now, and that was it.

Jay was eager to talk to Erin, to find out about the hearing, about how she coped with it, and what had happened to her mother. They weren't a couple anymore, but he still wanted to be there for her.

However, when they were at Molly's, Erin didn't show up. Hailey noticed that Jay looked around, checked the door for her constantly, finally went outside to call her.

Even though Jay had said their relationship was over, Hailey could see that Jay was not over it, that he still cared for Erin, and that he was worried. She would have liked to help him, but she knew better and stayed inside. If he wanted her help, Jay would eventually ask for it – or so she hoped.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

The next few weeks were difficult for Intelligence, on a personal level, and especially for Jay. It turned out that Erin had left Intelligence and Chicago that night, while all had been waiting for her to show up at Molly's.

All Voight told them was that Erin was with the FBI now, gone for good. They couldn't contact her, nor did she contact any of them.

Jay took it hard, Hailey noticed, even though he tried his best not to show. Jay kept it to himself how hurt he was. After all he and Erin had been through together, he would have appreciated at least a phone call. And that was something Hailey understood more than Jay could imagine. It's tough when someone you care for is gone one day without a word, without a good-bye.

He was partnered with Hailey, which was one ray of hope for Jay. Even though he didn't share with Hailey how hurt he was because of the messed-up relationship and Erin leaving, he felt comfortable around her, knew she would always have his back.

* * *

They didn't talk about their former relationship from three years ago, it was an unspoken agreement to not go down this road again for the moment, or even touch this subject.

Hailey wasn't sure if she still had these feelings for Jay, and she knew that Jay wasn't ready for a new relationship anytime soon. So she decided not to explore whatever kind of feelings she had for him and be a good friend. That was what he needed most right now.

Jay noticed, he noticed more than what Hailey was aware of. He noticed that she sometimes looked at him, lost in thoughts, and that there was *something* in her eyes, something that reminded him of when they had first met. And he was grateful that she didn't speak out, that she was a colleague and a friend, nothing more. He didn't want to think about whatever feelings he might have for Hailey, because right now his mind was still with Erin. He'd blown it, he'd pushed her away, and he wasn't sure if he was good with this relationship-thing at all.

He gladly accepted Hailey's loyalty and friendship, though.

They often spent the evenings after work together, in the beginning at Molly's with the others, and as time proceeded more often alone. They spent a lot of the warm summer nights riding their bikes to the lake, spending hours in some quiet spot on the lakeshore, like when they first had been a couple, but this time just being friends.

And he opened up to Hailey, much to his own surprise.

One evening they were having dinner in a restaurant by the lake.

"You know, I loved Erin," Jay suddenly said. "For a moment I thought it would be a good thing."

Hailey just nodded. She wasn't even sure if she wanted to hear about Erin, but as they were friends, she would listen.

"It started about a year after you left," he said.

"Jay!"

"This is not about us, Hailey," he backed off. "I have no regrets about us, none whatsoever. I just want you to understand what happened in the meantime, Hailey. And I guess I need to get it off my chest. We're partners, you should know these things."

She raised her eyebrows in surprise. That was new.

He told her about his relationship with Erin, about their first brief thing while she was with the Feds, then her breakdown after Nadia died, and Voight asking him to watch out for her, and their rocky relationship, which lasted for almost two years.

She understood more about him now, about why he was so hurt, why he felt that he was treated unfairly by his boss, and why he insisted that he and Hailey should be only friends. He was right about that. At least for the moment.

When Jay was done talking, she put a hand on his arm, looked into his eyes. "Jay, you will be fine. It takes time, but you will be fine. And you have friends, you know that. Me, the unit. We all care for you."

He gave her a smile that was one part sad and one part hopeful and sweet. "I know, Hailey. It is getting better already. Thank you for listening, for being there."

"Anytime, partner," she smiled back at him. "Did you ever consider therapy? I mean, it might help."

He shrugged. "Not really. Been there when I came back from Afghanistan, but it wasn't quite my thing."

"I see. Just keep it in mind, if you need help."

"I will."

For a moment Jay relaxed, felt safer. For a moment.

* * *

The cases during the summer weren't unusual, gang wars, drugs, shootings. Sadly, nothing out of the ordinary for Chicago.

When Intelligence was performing a raid on a gang, things got difficult for the unit. A little girl was shot accidentally. A shot child always got a lot of attention, and immediately the police was blamed. How could they let this happen? Why did they not make sure that the children in the – albeit illegal – daycare center were safe before they started the raid? The public was already angry with the police, but it got worse. The girl died, and it turned out that the bullet that shot the girl was from a cop's gun – Jay's gun.

It hit Jay hard. He was in shock.

Jay always wanted to do the right thing, protect the innocent, fight for them, and put the bad guys behind bars. And now he had shot and killed a child.

It didn't help that right at that time it was decided to reform Chicago PD. Generally that could have been a good thing, but in this case it meant more trouble.

An independent auditor in the person of Denny Woods was brought in to investigate the shooting.

Just a few months ago Hank Voight and Denny Woods, former partners in CPD, had met again. Voight had uncovered that Woods had framed an innocent man for a murder, and Woods was released from his job. Nobody knew how he had managed to come back after this, but here he was. And he was not on Jay's side. Jay was working for Voight.

A black kid was shot by a cop, and the public wanted Jay's head. Fueled by Alderman Price, who was looking for a scapegoat, who saw a chance for more publicity for himself. Jay was the perfect scapegoat, Price admitted that. A young, good-looking, white cop.

* * *

Jay felt trapped, even worse than in the Lonnie Rodiger case. He was a decorated policeman, and yet he was portrayed as a racist, violent cop, something far from who he was. That on top of feelings of guilt for having killed an innocent child.

What could he do?

He refused to let anyone in, including Hailey. When she asked how she could help, he literally pushed her away. He felt that he needed to get through this alone, didn't want to drag anyone else down with him, especially not Hailey. Needless to say, he was in a bad state.

While Jay could deal with a lot of things on his own, and was usually fine with it, this time it was tough.

Hailey felt helpless, and she wasn't sure how she should react, when Jay shut her out. She could hardly talk to Voight, because he wasn't aware of their history, like most of the team.

* * *

In the end Jay was being exonerated quickly. The evidence backed his story, showed that it was an accident, and that Jay had done exactly what he was supposed to do. The heat was taken off him, even Alderman Price praised him.

Yet Jay kept his distance from everyone, including Hailey. The closeness, the friendship they had experienced during the previous weeks seemed to have vanished. They still worked together, and worked well together, but nothing more.

Finally, Hailey decided to talk to the only member of Intelligence that knew at least part of their history, Al. Until now Al hadn't mentioned to anyone that he had met her with Jay back then, therefore she felt she could trust him.

"Do you have a minute?" Hailey approached Al one afternoon, when they were alone in the office.

Al looked at her, surprised, and immediately nodded. "Sure, kid."

"I need help, Al," Hailey sighed. "Jay..."

"Hey, let's not discuss Jay here," he interrupted her immediately. "These walls have ears."

"OK, then let's drive and see if we can find my CI," Hailey suggested. "The car's safe."

Al grinned. The kid understood fast, he liked that. He quickly informed Voight that they had to leave the office for a while, and they were on the road in no time. Hailey drove, yet not far. She parked the car in an alley not too far away from the precinct.

"Thanks for listening, Al," she started.

"Sure. What's wrong with Jay?"

"Al, I know you didn't approve of how his relationship with Erin effected his job, he told me that. And this is not the same situation."

"So you two are not a couple?"

"No, we are friends." Hailey confirmed. "What happened back then, that's history. We're friends and partners."

"Okay," Al said. "Just wanted to check."

"Al, Jay seems to slip away from me, after the shooting the little girl. I know this bothers him a lot, but I can't get through to him."

"Do you think it affects his job?"

"No, at least not yet," Hailey answered. "Listen, I don't want to get Jay into trouble. I'm worried. And I don't know what I should do. You have known him longer, what do you think?"

"You're the first one to ever ask me something like that," Al said. "I'm not an expert on any kind of relationships. Been living in my garage for too long."

"Yeah, I know. Still I would appreciate your advice."

Al sighed, thought about what Hailey had said. He wasn't a man of many words, wasn't used to this kind of discussions outside of his family. But he liked both Hailey and Jay and therefore wanted to help, as much as it was possible.

"Give Jay some time," he finally answered. "Yes, it troubles him a lot that he shot the girl. And he's still not over Erin running away. He's opened up a lot to you, but he's still Jay. And Jay is not the most trusting person."

"What can I do, Al?"

"Be there, work with him, support him. Just like you have been doing. He knows, I can see that, and he will come around eventually." He paused for a second. "I did as well, with Meredith," he added more quietly.

"You think?"

"You wanted my opinion. He relies on you a lot, more than you think." Al shrugged. "If this doesn't work, we can still call the cavalry."

Hailey smiled. "Thanks, Al."


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

In the end Jay came around, he relaxed a bit, even though Hailey sensed that there was still a part of him that suffered. But just like Al had suggested, she didn't push him. She tried to show him – without many words – that she was there for him, that he could always talk to her, that she would always help, and he seemed to be aware of it, even though he didn't act on it, didn't ask for her support.

But he was there for her too, whenever she needed him. And that happened sooner than expected.

He was there when her former sergeant, McGrady was shot and Voight blamed her for not being on the scene on time. Hailey was shocked and close to tears when her Sergeant talked to her after McGrady was killed.

His words still haunted her, and she just stood there, unable to move, when Voight and the team had left, and only the crime techs collecting evidence remained.

* * *

_Why did you let McGrady drive in alone?_

_Excuse me?_

_You were supposed to be working with him._

_I was working with him. He knew I was coming. We just got off the phone. I told him to wait for me._

_Why'd you stop for coffee?_

_He was supposed to wait for me._

_But you were late._

_That's not fair. And I wasn't late, I was ten minutes early._

_He's dead, Hailey. I don't really care about fair._

* * *

Suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder. She didn't have to look, she knew it was Jay. He didn't speak, and Hailey was grateful for that. She was afraid that if she had to speak, she would finally burst out in tears. Not because of McGrady, but because Voight had blamed her.

Jay's hand rested on her shoulder, comforting her. Hailey turned around to her partner, looked up into his eyes. He knew what was going through her mind, and he was simply there, not speaking, just waiting for whatever Hailey wanted to do. Slowly, Hailey started walking towards the car, Jay walking next to her. He put his arm lightly around her shoulders, and she gladly accepted it. He walked her to the passenger side of her own car, opened the door for her and closed it when she had sat down, then got into the driver's seat and drove to Hailey's place. They didn't speak a word on the way.

"Come inside?" Hailey asked, when Jay parked the car in front of her house.

"Sure."

With a whisky each they sat down on Hailey's couch. Patiently Jay waited for Hailey, didn't say a word, just waited.

"Why did Voight blame me?" Hailey suddenly said.

"Because a cop was murdered," Jay answered. "That always has him on the edge."

"You know, I blame myself enough, even though I couldn't have prevented it."

"I know. It's not about you, Hailey," Jay said. "You did nothing wrong."

She took another sip of her whisky, then leaned against Jay's shoulder. "Thank you, Jay."

Jay didn't answer, only gently caressed her shoulder.

He ended up spending the night on Hailey's couch. They hadn't talked much that evening, but still Hailey felt better with Jay around. And to Jay it was the most normal thing in the world to stay.

* * *

In the morning, however, Hailey woke up to soft cries, moans. It took her a while to realize that the sounds came from the living room, from Jay. Back when they had been together, Jay had had nightmares sometimes, so she recognized quickly what was going on. And she still felt so sorry for him. She knew these nightmares were a result of his deployment in Afghanistan; and he often had nightmares when something tormented him, when something triggered the memories. This time, it was probably the shooting of the little girl, that triggered a new wave of nightmares.

Quietly she walked into the living room, approached the couch. It broke her heart to hear him cry. This strong, tough guy, who only hours ago had comforted her, had been her rock, now was so vulnerable.

Hailey got closer, whispered his name. She crouched down next to the couch, by his head, ran her hand through his hair, while still whispering his name, making sure to be out of reach of his hands, so he wouldn't accidentally hit her.

After several minutes the crying stopped, Jay opened his eyes, trying to understand where he was.

"Hailey?" he whispered hoarsely.

"Yes, Jay," she answered softly. "I'm here."

"What's going on?"

"You had a nightmare." She sat down on the arm of the couch, her hand still caressing his hair.

Jay moved himself into a sitting position. "Sorry, Hailey."

She shook her head. "For what?"

"I wanted to be here for you, and now you..."

"Jay, we're friends, partners; remember?" she interrupted him. "We're there for each other, always."

"Yeah," Jay agreed.

"You okay with the case?" he asked a while later.

"I will be, Jay."

* * *

The investigation took more turns, suspects were brought in, released, brought in again, until in the end it was clear that McGrady had staged his own murder. He wasn't the model human everyone thought he was, he was what Hailey had known all along – probably a good cop, but not a good person. He had staged his own murder, his own suicide to get out of gambling debts, of being caught stealing a significant amount of money.

But all that was kept under covers – in the end a black drug dealer and killer was framed for the murder.

Hailey confirmed to Voight that she would keep quiet, would go with this official version, but she wasn't fine with it – not by far. It went completely against her moral code to let McGrady get away with what he had done. And Jay knew.

* * *

After the funeral, when Hailey and Voight had talked, Jay waited for Hailey by her car, ready to drive her to wherever she wanted to go. She gave him a grateful look.

"Want to go and change?" he asked.

Hailey just nodded.

As they didn't have to go back to work that day, they drove to her place first, and then to Jay's, where they ordered pizza and had a drink.

They had easily slipped back into that part of their former relationship, since they had started working together. Getting together after work, talking about the case, the things that went well and the things that didn't.

"You should try to let it go, Hailey," Jay suggested, immediately lifting his hands in defense, adding. "I know it's not easy."

"It was wrong, Jay," she said. "Do you know what kind of man McGrady was?"

"Not as well as you do," Jay admitted.

"Well, he obstructed my career, he cheated on his wife, he gambled and lost, and then stole money to pay his debts. And we still pretend he was a hero? That's not right."

"I know, Hailey," was all Jay said.

Jay knew her well enough to know she didn't need any advice in that moment, it was enough for her that she could talk to him about her frustration.

She wasn't sure about Voight's way of working, not sure if she could live with these stretches. This was something she needed to figure out on her own. She knew that Jay wasn't always happy with it, and in some cases, he stood up against his boss and voiced his opinion, but with her being new to the unit things were different. She would need to find her way of dealing with things in Intelligence.

They talked about this, until Hailey changed subjects, and she could unwind a bit, just having a few beers with a friend.

* * *

It seemed cases seemed to alternately affect Jay or Hailey, never both at the same time. As if someone or something wanted to make sure one could always support the other.

A few days later the unit stumbled across a case that would turn out difficult for Jay. They investigated the abduction of a young boy, and one suspect they identified was a veteran ranger, Luis Vega.

Jay instantly offered to go undercover immediately, as he assumed that he could bond with that man.

When he suggested that, opinions in the team were divided. Antonio was against it, Al was okay with it, Hailey claimed she was "neutral".

Voight decided to go for it. They needed to find the abducted boy, and the former ranger was their best chance. If Jay could bond with him, it would increase their odds.

"Why neutral?" Jay asked Hailey later, while she was helping him with his wires, not sure what to make of her answer.

"Because I could hardly say that I hate the idea, that I think it's too dangerous, that it could trigger your nightmares even more."

Jay stared at her.

"Jay, if I said that, Voight would know that we haven't told him our complete story."

"So why didn't you say that you agree with Antonio?"

"Because it's your decision, Jay," she said calmly. "As much as I will worry for you when you're undercover, I can hardly make that decision, or tell Voight. It's your and Voight's call. And I trust you, Jay. Do the job, I will have your back."

"Thank you," he answered meekly. He had been annoyed when he heard her say "I'm neutral," but now he was a bit ashamed. He should trust her more.

"Do you really think this could trigger nightmares?" he asked Hailey after a few minutes.

"It might," Hailey answered. "You would know better than I."

"You are talking about the other night."

Hailey just looked at him.

"Yeah, you may be right," he admitted.

"Listen, Jay. You do your job, and I'll be there for you. As always. But promise me to let me know when things go wrong. You are not alone in this."

"OK, thank you."

"You better listen, because if you don't, I will kick your ass."

Yes, he totally believed she would do that. He grinned to himself.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Kevin Atwater found the spot where Luis Vega would hang out, a bar in which his sister, Camilla, worked. They agreed on a plan; Hailey and two undercover cops would be there to back up Jay, to help him get Access to Luis.

It all worked just like they had anticipated. Jay sat down at the bar, talked to Camilla, flirted with her a bit. Luis wasn't very approachable or talkative at first, therefore a bar fight was staged, in which Jay could help Luis out, and in the end both left the bar together in a hurry.

Hailey stayed behind, taking care of the innocent bystander that Jay had punched by accident. At the same time, she tried to figure out Camilla. She didn't want to admit it to herself that she wasn't too thrilled seeing Jay flirt with her. But that was the job, and Hailey wasn't Jay's girlfriend, so she pushed away any jealousy that came creeping up on her. Still, she would keep an eye on Camilla. Boyfriend or not, Jay was her partner, and she would look out for him. Always.

* * *

Jay had made the first step; he and Luis bonded. They waited for Camilla to come home, sitting on the stairs of her apartment building, chatting. When she finally arrived, Jay came inside with Luis, and while Luis went to bed, Jay stayed in the kitchen with Camilla. Even if Luis was still suspicious of Jay, Camilla seemed to like him, seemed to like flirting with him a lot.

Jay's wire was still on, so Hailey could listen to their conversation. The flirting was one thing, but the conversation got more serious. Jay sounded so sincere in what he told her. Should she worry about him? Was Jay really over all the things he had witnessed and done in Afghanistan? Or did it still haunt him? His recurring nightmares clearly suggested that. Or did he simply tell Camilla all this to make her trust him, to get to Luis? Maybe it was a combination of all things, Hailey wondered.

* * *

Hailey, Jay and Voight met the next day, and while Voight was on the phone, Hailey handed Jay all the information they had gathered on Luis. When she wanted to tell Jay about Luis' tours in Afghanistan, Jay interrupted her quickly, he didn't want to hear anything about that. "I did a tour there too. I know what he saw."

Hailey looked at him, and she just had to ask, "The stuff you told Camilla about when you came back, is that true?"

Jay just nodded, clearly not willing to tell her more. This was still too painful, and he didn't want to share with Hailey right there. Perhaps one day he would.

Before Hailey could ask anything else, Voight joined them and saved Jay from Hailey's inquiring glance, and they talked about their approach. Voight gave Jay some Oxy for Luis, which Jay reluctantly accepted. It would be a way to gain Luis' trust, something to trade in for a favor.

Jay wasn't happy at all to give a fellow veteran Oxy; this stuff was dangerous, and Jay felt it was wrong to push Luis in that direction. But he didn't have a choice, his boss ordered it. So he did it.

* * *

Jay went to Camilla's apartment once again. With a sick feeling in his stomach, he offered Luis the pills in exchange for a chance to get a job in Luis' crew. Jay felt how the lines got blurred for him. He and Luis had known the same people, had seen a lot of the same gruesome things, seen children being killed. Both had images in their minds that haunted them, that they would never forget. There was an actual connection. Jay could have ended right where Luis was. He wanted to help. And there he was, giving him narcotics.

* * *

Hailey was worried.

She was in a van with Al, watching two other suspects in the kidnapping case, probably Luis' accomplices.

They checked plates, ran names, and were sure they had their crew. One step further.

"Al," she said, after the work was done. "Should I worry for Jay?"

"About his undercover job?"

"Yeah, he's bonding with Luis too much."

"No surprise, they experienced similar things."

"Exactly." Hailey looked at her colleague. "He's sharing so much with Luis, and with his sister. I'm afraid he's getting too close."

"Keep an eye on him, but don't interfere just yet." Al said. "He's got a job to do. If his actions threaten the success of our operation, we must act. Until then – wait and trust him."

Al was right, as much as Hailey disliked it. She needed to stay back and watch out for Jay. At the moment there was nothing else she could do.

* * *

So Hailey did what Al had suggested, she didn't mention to Jay what she had heard on the wire, or that she was worried he was getting too close. But she watched and listened carefully, more than he realized.

She watched when he entered the bar, in which Camilla worked, again the next day, heard when they flirted, when Camilla kissed him. And she felt the familiar sting of jealousy again.

Jay got what he needed, however: Luis' location.

* * *

Before going to see Luis, Jay met with Hailey, told her where he would be. Even though he bonded with Luis, even though he didn't want to talk to her about Afghanistan, he still knew he had to keep her in on what was happening.

"It seems I'm gaining their trust," he said to Hailey, while they were walking along the street.

"Yeah?" Hailey tilted her head and looked at him.

"It took some flirting, which isn't all that bad," he grinned. "Better than sharing war stories."

"Oh?" Hailey pretended to be surprised. Since Jay didn't know she witnessed it, she couldn't even address the kiss in a joking way. Camilla seemed to be a nice person, but still – Hailey would have preferred Jay to not flirt with her.

They discussed the next steps, and when they approached the bar, where Luis was supposed to hang out, Hailey and Jay went in different directions.

* * *

Before he entered, Jay briefly wondered about Hailey's reaction to when he told her about flirting with Camilla. He liked the flirting, Camilla was nice. But why had he told Hailey? Did he want to tease her, make her jealous? And – was she jealous? He wasn't sure. He couldn't tell from the way she looked at him. Then he shook his head. He had made a promise to himself, when Hailey had joined the unit. They would be friends, nothing else. No need to make life more complicated. Perhaps a fling with Camilla was just the right thing.

While Jay talked to Luis again about getting into his crew, the team pulled one of his accomplices. The kidnapping crew was one person short, and that was Jay's chance. He convinced Luis and his accomplice Josh Miller that he should be the third person. It was obvious that Miller didn't trust Jay, didn't want him in, but his hands were tied. He needed a third man, so he reluctantly agreed.

As a last attempt to help Luis out of this mess, Jay tried to convince him to stop Miller from killing the kidnapped child, and he was successful. Luis wanted to do the right thing. He took Jay's phone and gun, just like Miller wanted, and they drove to the empty warehouse.

Then they turned against Miller together, overpowered him, entered the building, in which the child was held hostage. They were greeted by gunfire; and soon Jay and Luis were caught in the gunfire from the abductors guarding the kid and Intelligence, coming to help.

Jay could make his way over to the kid and free it. Unfortunately, though, Luis was shot and went down.

Jay ran to him, performed CPR, but didn't succeed. He crouched over Luis' body, desperate.

* * *

"Jay!"

The world was blurry for him, he didn't even realize someone was talking, yelling to him.

"Jay!" louder.

Coming out of his daze, he looked up, looked in Hailey's worried face.

"Jay, an ambulance is on the way," she quietly said.

"Too late," Jay uttered breathlessly.

Hailey put her hand on his arm, pulled him up. "Jay, come with me."

"Hailey, he tried to save the kid."

"I know, Jay."

"He wasn't a bad guy, Hailey."

"Yes, Jay."

"If I hadn't given him the oxy, he might still be alive."

"Jay, it was his choice to take it, not yours."

"It's my fault he's dead."

"No, it's not your fault, Jay." Hailey tried to convince him, but by looking at him she saw that he didn't believe her. Jay *wanted*to feel guilty, *wanted* to feel bad. And he had every right to be angry, sad, to mourn Luis. He might not have been an actual friend, but he had tried to do some good in the end, and Jay cared. He needed to mourn his fellow soldier.

So she just stood there, hand on his arm, waiting.

* * *

In the evening Jay stood at the gate to Camilla's apartment, breathing heavily. He needed to tell her about her brother's death.

His phone rang.

Hailey.

Jay briefly considered answering, but then didn't. He opened the gate.

"Jay."

Jay looked around, saw her sitting in her car a few feet away. He reluctantly approached her car.

"Are you following me?" He hadn't even noticed.

"I told you I'll watch out," she just shrugged. "You want to tell Camilla?"

"I have to, Hailey."

"OK, I get that," she answered. "I'll wait for you."

"You what?"

"I'll wait, Jay. Don't be too long." Hailey grinned almost invisibly.

Jay rolled his eyes. So much for Hailey trusting him.

* * *

A few seconds later Jay was at the door, Camilla opened, and Jay went inside. She had been crying. Jay wrapped his arms around her, trying to comfort her.

He didn't tell her that he was around when Luis was shot, didn't want to give away too much. He told her that Luis had tried to save the kid, that he died trying to do the right thing. She deserved to know that.

"Can you stay?" she asked, when she had calmed down a bit.

"My friend is waiting," Jay answered evasively.

"Please!"

If Hailey hadn't been outside waiting, Jay would have stayed. A part of him wanted just that. He slowly stepped back, out of the embrace.

"I need to go, Camilla," he said softly. "Please call me if there's anything I can do. Luis' funeral, anything you need. OK?"

Camilla nodded, crying again. She clearly didn't want Jay to leave.

Jay kissed her forehead quickly, then turned around and left.

* * *

With a deep sigh, he sat down in the passenger seat of Hailey's car.

"You ok?" she asked.

"No, not really."

"Where's your car?"

"I took the train."

"Want me to take you home? Or have a drink someplace else? Molly's?"

"Definitely not Molly's," Jay said. "I want to be alone."

"OK, home it is," Hailey decided. "And I will stay, no matter what you say."

She didn't ask what had happened in Camilla's apartment, and Jay was thankful for that. But when they arrived at Jay's place, Hailey parked the car and followed Jay inside. She was determined not to leave him that night, if he wanted her there or not.

She made herself at home, grabbed a bottle of whisky from the shelf, two glasses, and sat down on the couch, waiting for Jay to join her.

Jay looked at her, as if he only now realized that she was still there. Hailey gave him one glass of whisky, and Jay sat down next to her silently.

They didn't talk much that night, but Hailey stayed on his couch, watching out for him. As far as she could tell, he didn't have any nightmares, but she heard him toss and turn, get up, walk around, go back to bed. He was not OK.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Camilla called, asked Jay to be there for Luis' funeral. Jay knew it would not be a good idea to go, but he couldn't, wouldn't back off. He felt that he owed it to Luis. Hailey wasn't thrilled, but she knew better than trying to convince Jay to stay away.

"I'll take you there," Hailey suggested instead.

"You want to come to the funeral?" Jay couldn't believe what he heard. "And how should I explain that to Camilla? Why would you even do that?"

"Don't explain." Hailey simply said. "I'll go by my undercover name, and then that's it. It should send a message to Camilla that you aren't available."

"And why that? How's that even an issue?"

Hailey just stared back at him.

"So you don't trust me."

"Not with Camilla."

"Why do you even care? Why don't you just keep out of this? What if I want to be with Camilla?" Suddenly Jay became angry, so suddenly that Hailey was taken aback.

"What?"

"Why don't you just let me do what I think is right?"

"You know, Jay," she answered, now clearly angry herself. "I guess I should. I don't even know why I bother. If you want to go and sleep with this woman, then do it."

She turned around, ready to leave, but Jay held her back, put a hand on her shoulder. For some reason he didn't want her to leave, even though they were fighting.

"Even if I do, it's none of your business anyway."

"Correct. Go, be stupid!"

"How would that concern you?" Jay asked. "Why? Why don't you just leave me alone for once?"

"I wish I knew," Hailey retorted. "Life would be easier if I let you take care of your own crap."

"If I didn't know better, I'd say you're jealous." Jay said, now very calm.

Hailey stared at him, heat spreading all over her body. She was still mad at him, but she knew he was right.

"So?" Jay asked, irritated by her sudden silence.

Hailey didn't answer, didn't trust her own voice.

"So?" Jay repeated.

"Ah hell, do whatever you want," she finally uttered.

They stared at each other, and suddenly both burst out in laughter. The anger vanished as quickly as it had appeared.

"You're such an idiot, Jay Halstead," Hailey giggled.

Jay raised his eyebrows. "And you're cute when you're angry, Hailey Upton," he teased.

There it was again, the burning heat all over Hailey's body. Quickly she turned away. He shouldn't see that her face turned bright red. And she didn't want to follow up on this, was grateful that Jay let it go quickly.

The fight-turned-laughter had lightened the mood. They were back on the same page.

Hailey still didn't like it, but she was well aware that Jay would attend Luis' funeral, no matter what she said. Therefore, she made sure to be there. This way she could not only make sure that he wouldn't engage too much with Camilla, but she could also check how much the whole issue affected him. She would not take no for an answer, and Jay knew.

* * *

A few days later, when Jay was on his way to Luis' funeral, all dressed up in uniform, Hailey was by his side. They entered the church right before the ceremony was about to begin, wanted to sit down somewhere in the back. But that wasn't an option, because there was only Camilla. No friends or family, nobody but Camilla – and Jay and Hailey.

They sat down in the row behind her.

Camilla turned around, looked at Jay thankfully, and a bit irritated at Hailey.

The ceremony started, and Hailey could sense Jay tense up. She put her hand on his; he briefly nodded a thank you as a reply.

Camilla was devastated. She had lost her brother, her only relative, and she was alone. She approached Jay and Hailey afterwards, and Jay briefly hugged her. She didn't want to let him go, wanted him to stay, but Jay managed to break the embrace softly.

Camilla looked at Hailey curiously.

"I'm Kelly," she introduced herself with her undercover alias. "So sorry for your loss."

"Thank you," Camilla answered. "Without Ryan I wouldn't know what to do."

Hailey put a hand on Jay's shoulder, a subtle sign directed at Camilla. "That's good to know."

Camilla understood, gave Jay an unhappy look in reply. She clearly understood that Jay wasn't hers, that they wouldn't meet again. Even though he told her again to call if she needed his help, both knew this wouldn't happen.

Hailey was relieved, her plan had worked. She felt sorry for Camilla, but Jay was her first priority. And right now she needed to make sure Jay would be okay.

_Why do I care so much?_ She asked herself. _Why do I feel I need to protect him so badly?_

* * *

When Jay and Hailey arrived back at Jay's place, he only reluctantly got out of the car.

"Are you coming?"

"Sure, Jay." Hailey immediately agreed. Perhaps he would want to talk.

Once inside, Jay quickly changed out of his uniform, while Hailey grabbed the usual drinks from the fridge and made herself comfortable on his couch.

"Hailey?" Jay asked, when he joined her.

"Yes?"

"Hailey, would you... would you please stay the night?" Jay looked at her as if he expected her to say no. He quickly added, "I'll take the couch, you can have the bed."

"Sure. Why?"

"Because..." Jay hesitated, swallowed hard. "Because I'm afraid I might do something stupid when I'm alone. Like..."

"Like seeing Camilla?" Hailey raised her eyebrows, not sure what to make of this.

Jay nodded, looking sheepish.

"And what do you expect me to do?" Hailey asked, her tone a bit more annoyed than she intended. "Do you expect me to chain you to the bed?"

Jay looked at her, then out of the blue a wide grin appeared on his face.

Hailey slapped him playfully, now grinning herself. "That didn't come out right."

Jay laughed and slightly tilted his head, happy to have broken the tension in the air. "Tell me more, Hailey."

She just shook her head, unsuccessfully trying to hide her smile.

"OK, I'll stay," she finally agreed. "And you can have the bed, I'll take the couch. But Jay – don't expect me to be your guardian forever, ok?"

"I know," he nodded, serious again, but not insecure anymore. "I know, Hailey. It just … you know... right now I want to do something to numb all these thoughts and feelings. And doing something stupid sounds pretty tempting."

"Not if it will cause more problems."

"You're probably right." He took a swig of his whisky, staring into the glass.

"Jay, I wasn't aware of how much this is still a problem," Hailey said quietly. "You must do something about it."

Jay still stared into his glass.

"You can't go on like this forever," she insisted. "Whenever something triggers your memories, your PTSD, you have nightmares, you behave differently, and you make risky decisions. It's dangerous. Not to mention it's annoying how your mood changes from one second to the other."

Jay stayed silent.

"I'm not joking, Jay. You could become a danger to yourself and to your partner, to me!"

Now she had his full attention, he stared at her.

"Jay, I care for you, but you need to take action. You need to work on these issues."

He sighed, thought about what Hailey said.

"Okay, I'll do something," he agreed after a while. "For you, Hailey."

"Do it for yourself," she said, more gently now. "And everything else will fall into place. You know how much I care for you, and I'll be here to help."

"Sure," he just said.

"Hey, don't look so sad," Hailey tried to lighten up the mood again. "I didn't give you a death sentence, just some advice. You will be fine, but you need to work on this."

He smiled weakly. "I will, I promise. I will do therapy, seriously this time. For us." He flashed her a tentative grin.

Hailey grinned right back at him. "Good."

* * *

Jay took action, just like he had promised. He went back to therapy, and he made an effort to actually talk to his therapist. Until now, therapy had always been a painful exercise he wanted to finish as quickly as possible, and he only did what was absolutely necessary, but this time it was different. Hailey had pushed him into that direction, and he understood. He finally understood that he needed to do something. Therefore, this time he didn't just have the mandatory few sessions but agreed to stay as long as he needed to.

From time to time Hailey asked about it, and she was genuinely happy that he made progress, that he actually enjoyed it. He didn't give Hailey details of what was discussed during these sessions, but from time to time he told her about things he discovered – about himself, about others.

And his team noticed, too. Even though Jay wasn't known for letting too many people in, even though he hadn't been one to put his problems on display, the others noticed that he seemed more himself lately.

His partnership with Hailey profited from this change as well. They had always known that they could rely on each other, trust each other, and still things had changed for the better.

Hailey saw that Jay was willing to work on problems, willing to listen to her, that he appreciated her opinion, also when it came to very personal issues outside of work.

Jay realized even more than before that he could trust Hailey, that she cared for him, enough to confront him, when things went wrong. And that she would stand by his side, if he wanted it or not.

Both cherished their partnership and friendship more every day, now that it was moving to a deeper level than ever before.


	12. Chapter 12

**_This chapter includes quite a few quotes of the original episode "Ghosts". I tried to keep it to the minimum, however, and concentrate on the parts that are important for the development in this story._**

**Chapter 12**

While Jay was – finally – taking therapy seriously, Hailey became a full member of Intelligence. She had found her place in the unit, was one of them, not the new kid anymore. She loved working with the team. From the first day she had loved working with Jay, of course, but she got along well with everybody else too, enjoyed working with every single one of them.

She no longer feared to be doubted, to be an outcast – she belonged.

And it helped that everyone could see how well she and Jay worked together, they had a positive influence on each other.

Unfortunately, the atmosphere in 21st was not all that good, because Denny Woods, the independent auditor, had decided to make life as difficult as possible for Intelligence. And Hailey sensed that there was a lot going on that she didn't know, beside the usual differences with Woods. She noticed that Voight and Al often discussed things without the others, were gone out without telling the others where they went, and their faces showed concern. They tried to hide it, but in a group full of cops that wasn't easy.

* * *

Hailey's mind was taken off this, however, when an old nemesis resurfaced.

Intelligence was surveying a drug deal, when suddenly things went wrong, and gunshots were fired.

While the unit secured the scene, Hailey followed a trace of blood, into an old factory building. As soon as she saw the gunshot victim, she had to swallow hard. She knew the man.

He clearly recognized her too, but before he could answer her questions, he coughed blood and died.

Hailey didn't notice that Jay was behind her, didn't turn around when he put his hand on her shoulder.

"He's gone," he said softly. "Kelly?" The guy had called her Kelly, so Jay asked. "How do you know this guy?"

"My undercover assignment," she answered, not ready to elaborate. Jay noticed and didn't push.

Still at the scene Hailey informed Voight and Jay about the victim and his connection to Hailey.

"Scott Jenson," she said. "He was part of a meth distribution ring run by a guy named Ron Booth."

"Okay," Voight nodded.

"I was under in Booth's crew three years ago, busted him for distro," Hailey explained.

"Do you think Booth is behind this?" Jay asked.

"It's possible. He just got out of prison two months ago. Early parole for good behavior. It's a joke." It was obvious that Hailey despised the guy.

Voight looked worried. "So you keep tabs on this guy?"

"Sort of. Let's just say I'm not a big fan."

* * *

Back in the office the team watched surveillance footage from the scene. The original drug dealers were ripped off by another crew, who stole their merchandise before the deal could be completed. Hailey didn't recognize the offenders, but she was still convinced that Booth was behind it. He liked these rip-offs. Easy money.

So Hailey, Jay and Kim checked out Booth's paint business.

They didn't see anything suspicious, though.

"We need to get eyes inside," Jay said.

"How about mine?" Hailey asked casually.

Jay looked at her, clearly worried. No, he definitely disliked the idea.

* * *

Still, Hailey suggested to Voight that she should go undercover, using her old undercover persona. When Voight was checking the file on the old case, he had some questions.

"What about this Garrett Thompson? Copper out of Rosemont you were partnered with."

Jay looked up, listening more closely now.

"What about him?" Hailey asked, obviously unwilling to get into detail.

"It says here you were under as his girlfriend."

"Correct. He got killed during that operation."

Jay read from the file. "There's a note in the GPR that says rumors were going around that Garrett flipped, and he moved to Mexico?"

"He was good police," Hailey disagreed. "Booth murdered him."

"What happened?"

"They never found his body, so we couldn't make a case. But it was Booth. He never liked Garrett, then one day Garrett was gone. Look, once Booth turns the liquid meth into chrystal, he's got a lot of product to move. If I get in, I pitch Jay as a potential buyer, and we bust his ass."

"All right, let's do it," Voight decided, nodded in Jay's direction. "But listen. I want you going under to bust a drug dealer, not get revenge for Garrett's murder."

"Understood."

"Good."

_Yeah, right,_ Jay thought. _Even if Voight pretends to believe it, I don't. I will be there. And I will need to find out more about this Garrett guy._

* * *

The team agreed on this approach, and before long, Hailey and Jay were setting up an undercover apartment.

The place was a terrible rat hole – only one run-down room, old furniture, the water coming from the faucet was oily and black. Jay shook his head in disbelief, pointed at the dark liquid.

"You see this?"

"Kelly's a former tweaker, it's all she can afford," Hailey explained, grinning at Jay's obvious disgust.

"Two words: Takeout."

Hailey even looked different, her wavy hair was straightened, she looked worn out, desperate, not like the energetic, radiant Hailey Jay knew. If that was Kelly, Hailey was good, very good.

Then he noticed the photo Hailey put up on the fridge. Hailey and a guy, very close, obviously happy and in love.

"Is that Garrett?"

"Yeah."

"You guys look like a real couple," Jay just had to mention it. He didn't like the stinging jealousy he felt, but it was hard to ignore.

"All for show," Hailey shrugged it off. "You know the drill." Why did she suddenly feel guilty?

Jay wasn't satisfied with this answer, but now was not the time.

When all was done in the apartment and they had discussed further details about the operation, there was one thing Jay still wanted, needed to know.

"Hailey?" he asked tentatively. "This undercover assignment, was that the one…"

She looked at him, suddenly a sadness in her eyes. "Yes, Jay," she answered quietly. "That's the one. The one we broke up for."

"And…" he just couldn't stop himself. "Was it worth it?"

Hailey sighed, clearly she didn't want to go in that direction.

"We got Booth, so…" Hailey stopped, thinking for a minute, then admitted, "I don't know, Jay."

Abruptly she stood up, stared out of the window, unable to face him, to look into those green eyes. Jay followed her, put his arms around her from behind. Thankful that he didn't say a word, didn't push further, Hailey leaned back against his body. It felt good. Because, even though she would never admit it to herself or anybody, she was scared. Booth was dangerous, but she had to do everything to put him behind bars for good. And it was good that Jay was in it with her this time.

* * *

In order to make contact with Booth, Hailey attended Scotty Jenson's funeral, waiting several feet away from the group that was assembled at the grave. Jay and Kim were watching from a surveillance van, checking the surroundings.

Booth noticed Hailey, and right after the funeral he approached her. Looked at her with an arrogant kind of curiosity. Jay disliked the man immediately.

Hailey and Booth talked, and Jay could see from a distance, how tense Hailey was, even though she tried her best not to show. Booth asked weird questions, as if he was testing her – constantly checking her stories. That was something Hailey had told him before. You needed to get your story straight with him.

Suddenly Jay listened closer.

"And look. I know it doesn't mean much now, but I feel bad about what happened at that New Year's party." Booth said.

"Things happen," Hailey plays it down. "We were all a little crazy back then."

Once again, she tried to make Booth admit he was still doing drug business, telling him that she had a friend looking for product, but he didn't take the bait.

For the moment she couldn't get anywhere.

Jay made a mental note to find out about that New Year's party.

* * *

Booth didn't call for a while, leaving Jay and Hailey waiting. The unit decided to scare off Booth's original buyer, so that he would need Jay to sell the drugs to. And it worked. The next day, when Hailey entered her apartment, she found herself face to face with Ron Booth. She gasped, trying hard to keep her composure. Her amazing landlord had given Booth the key – good to know, that the apartment was not only a rat-hole, it was also open to everybody. Just great.

Booth asked questions, Hailey answered, trying to stay in character, not to sound too eager. And in the end Booth actually asked her to perform a job for him. Even if it was just a parcel she had to pick up and deliver, it was a start. He sort of agreed on meeting Hailey's friend, the alleged buyer.

That meant one foot in the door.

Hailey picked up the parcel and delivered it to Booth's office. And was in. Booth would meet with Jay.

* * *

Meanwhile Jay found out more about _that New Year's Eve_ Booth had been talking about. He had briefly asked Hailey, but she ignored his question.

As that immediately raised a red flag with him, he contacted her former case officer, Jeff Rafferty. The older man wasn't happy that Jay asked about the case, and he was very reluctant to give him any information. Jay could be very convincing, however, and in the end he got what he wanted, what he needed to protect Hailey – or so he hoped.

Now that Jay knew what had happened, he was even more worried, asked Hailey to meet with him in 21st. He needed to talk to her.

If he were honest, he would have preferred to stop the whole operation immediately, shoot Booth, then take Hailey and run. There were so many ways in which this operation could go wrong. And he hated to let Hailey put herself in so much danger again. Of course, he couldn't do much, Hailey would never allow him to cancel the undercover assignment, just because he was worried about her.

When she arrived, he showed her the photos – photos of her taken in hospital, that New Year's Eve. Hailey with a bruised face, beaten up. It broke Jays heart to just look at these pictures.

Hailey's head was spinning. She almost yelled at him, almost told him to get lost. All because she didn't want to admit the one moment of weakness, the moment that had almost cost her life, and that she wanted to forget. After that summer with him, only a few months after that glorious summer, she had been in this awful situation, beaten, almost raped and killed. Had she broken up with Jay for that?

No, she didn't want Jay to know, didn't want him to see the photos. She was afraid he would look at her differently now.

He didn't. That was the good part. He didn't look at her with disgust, only with compassion and … something like love.

Still, Hailey got defensive immediately, tried to push him away.

But Jay made her talk, at least a bit. All Jay wanted to do right there was take her in his arms, comfort her, protect her. But Hailey didn't have that. She insisted that they had to go through with the operation, to not tell Voight about this. Jay accepted it, but swore to himself to be even more watchful now.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

The following day, Booth finally agreed to meet with Jay, and things got rolling.

Their first meeting didn't go as planned, though. Booth asked a lot of questions, testing Jay, and when he asked if he had screwed Kelly, Jay almost lost it.

He almost caught Jay off guard. "Excuse me?"

Booth insisted on an answer, and when he didn't get one, he kicked Jay out.

This guy was seriously disturbed, Jay was sure of that. And – he wanted Hailey. Jay had enough, this was getting too weird.

Back in the car with Hailey, he drove to 21st right away.

"What's going on?" Hailey asked. "What happened?"

"We need to stop this. The man is dangerous. There must be another way to get him. I won't let you put your life in danger." Jay spat out.

"Wait, what?"

Jay noticed that Hailey was angry, but he didn't react.

They immediately went into Voight's office, and Voight agreed with Jay. He ordered Hailey to stop the undercover job. Just like Jay he was convinced this was too dangerous.

* * *

Hailey didn't have it, though. While Jay was in the undercover apartment, packing Hailey's stuff in boxes, she went back to Booth, trying to get the deal back on track. Jay was waiting for her, called her – without success. So he asked Kim to locate her phone. When Kim told Jay that Hailey was at Booth's place, Jay decided that he couldn't let her do this alone, so he followed her. Hailey wasn't alone anymore, and even though Booth seemed annoyed that Jay showed up without an invitation, Jay could convince Booth to sell.

They agreed on meeting in a parking garage for the exchange.

And there things came to an end, a violent end.

Voight and Intelligence were waiting in the shadows, while Hailey and Jay met with Booth.

Money was handed over, Booth called his nephew, Tylor, to bring the drugs. But first he wanted to personally check Hailey for wires – a sight Jay could hardly endure. Booth smashed Hailey against the car, felt her up, touched the most intimate parts of her body.

But he got what he deserved. When suddenly Tylor got nervous, aimed his gun at Jay, Hailey attacked Booth, hit his gun out of his hand, and Jay shot Tylor, who was about to shoot him.

The rest of the team was at the scene in no time.

Booth tried to escape, and Hailey followed him, not waiting for backup. She opened the door to a stairway, and there Booth was waiting for her.

He attacked her, beat her with fists and gun. They fought brutally, but this time Hailey was stronger. She was so angry, kicked and hit Booth, and in the end was crouching over him, ready to shoot.

"Hailey!"

She didn't notice Jay standing behind her.

"Hailey!"

Still no reaction.

"Hailey!" Jay put a hand on her shoulder. "Hailey, he wins if you do it. This is not how you beat this. Please, Hailey, please! This is not the gotta trust me," Jay pleaded.

Now Hailey listened and let go of Booth.

"Get up!" she ordered, and when Booth stood up, she kicked and hit him one last time, before she left. Jay let her go, cuffed Booth and brought him outside.

* * *

It had been a close call. He had never seen Hailey like that.

During the whole case, she had been on edge, he was aware of that. But he had never seen her lose her composure like that, had never seen her this angry, this full of hate.

This case had shown him sides of Hailey he would never have expected.

Jay needed to make sure she was okay.

So when in the evening she didn't show up at Molly's where the unit met, he immediately drove to her apartment. Her actual apartment, large, with nice furniture, clean. The complete opposite of the undercover place.

She opened the door, wearing a t-shirt and sweatpants.

"Hey," she just said. She had a large bruise on her forehead, looked tired.

Jay entered. "Uh.. everybody's asking for you at Molly's."

"Yeah I don't really feel like being social right now."

"Well, Platt offered to buy shots, which is a once-in-a-decade thing, if you want to reconsider," he tried to lighten the mood.

Hailey chuckled. "I'm all right. I just kind of feel like being alone."

"Yeah, that's not gonna happen, sorry," Jay grinned and walked into her kitchen. "Wanna pour me a drink?"

They both sat down.

"How's your head?" Jay asked, barely keeping himself from touching the bruise.

"It's all right. A little sore."

"It's over Hailey, you got him." He looked at her with a very soft smile.

"Yeah, I know, she replied. "It just doesn't feel as good as I thought it would."

They headed to the couch in the living room.

"Stirred up too many ghosts, you know?"

"Garrett?" Jay had to ask.

"Yeah. He was the one that pulled Booth off me that night. He stopped him from... raping me... killing me..."

"I'm sorry you lost him. He sounded like a great guy." Jay said softly.

"Yeah, he was."

"You loved him?" Again, Jay just had to asked, even though he wasn't sure if he wanted to hear the answer.

Hailey looked at him. Then nodded slowly, leaned back. She felt tears welling up in her eyes.

"I'm fine, Jay."

Jay shook his head. No, he didn't want to hear that she loved Garrett, and he didn't believe she was fine. So he put his glass on the table and simply wrapped his arms around her without saying a word.

Hailey was surprised at first, wanted to pull back, but Jay didn't let her. He just held her, and slowly Hailey leaned into his embrace. She buried her face against his shoulder, let the tears fall.

"I don't know, Jay," she said after a while.

"You don't know what?" he asked quietly, placed his finger under her chin, and made her look into his eyes.

"You asked me if I loved Garrett," she whispered. "And to be honest, I don't know."

Jay raised his eyebrows.

"You know, Jay. I had to leave you, went undercover, and Garrett was there," she said. "He was there, and I was under as his girlfriend. For a few months. And even if you don't intend to, you build a connection. You always pretend to be a couple, and in the end you believe it. And then... this New Year's Eve party. He saved my life."

Jay nodded but didn't interrupt.

"So, I don't know if I loved him or if it was all just make-believe. I was lonely, and I still missed you. And he was there, he was a good guy."

She leaned her head against his shoulder. "When he was gone, it was a shock. I felt responsible. Because he saved me. And Booth killed him."

"Hailey, it wasn't your fault."

She just nodded, sat up. "Jay, thanks for staying." She took her glass, drank some whisky.

"Always, Hailey."

They comfortably leaned against each other, and Jay put her arm around Hailey's shoulders.

"What did you do after the undercover assignment was over?" Jay asked after a while. "You never told me. You know basically everything I did during these years, and I know nothing about you."

"Well, I worked under McGrady for a while, you know that. Not exactly easy. It took me quite a while until I managed to get out and transfer to Robbery-Homicide. You know, McGrady wasn't supportive, he undermined me whenever he could, just because he could. There is not much more to tell, I was living for my job, no relationships, no close friends, but no big cases either. It sounds quite sad, actually."

"Strange that we never met."

Hailey looked down, didn't answer right away.

"What? What, Hailey? Did we meet and I didn't recognize you? What did I do?"

"No, Jay," she shook her head.

"OK, then what?"

"One day I drove across town to 21st, because I wanted to see how you were doing," she quietly said, unsure if she wanted to continue. "And... and I saw you with Erin. I turned around and left, and I made sure our paths wouldn't cross. I didn't want to interfere with your life, your new relationship. I wanted you to be happy."

"Oh," Jay swallowed hard. "I'm so sorry, Hailey. You know, I didn't hook up with Erin right after you left... I wouldn't… it..."

"Shhh, Jay," she interrupted him. "I didn't say that. And it wasn't right after I left. But I didn't want to interfere."

"I see," Jay didn't quite know what to say.

"Jay, there's no need to feel bad," Hailey hurried to say. "I don't blame you for moving on, I did too, in a way – with Garrett. It hurt, but that's not your fault. And it's okay."

"But it's over now, you know that."

"Yes, Jay. I know."

"I wish things would have been different back then," Jay said quietly. "I wish you wouldn't have gone undercover and dealt with Booth, Garrett's death and all that."

"I know, Jay."

And without thinking about it, she leaned in closer and kissed him. Surprised, Jay didn't immediately react. But Hailey was unable to pull back. His lips felt so familiar, so comforting, so perfect, she couldn't stop kissing him. Jay didn't resist for long. Her kiss felt too good, and he opened his lips, kissed her back. Only now he realized how much he had missed her.

When they broke the kiss after an eternity, they just stared at each other.

"Sorry," Hailey whispered, and Jay just smiled softly.

They fell asleep on the couch, like so often before, Hailey lying half on Jay's body, her arms wrapped firmly around him, Jay holding her tight. And Hailey felt safe in his arms. That was exactly what she needed after the last few days, she needed to feel safe again.

They woke up early in the morning, surprisingly relaxed and comfortable. Yet they didn't talk about the night before, the kiss. Right now, they were exactly where they wanted to be, everything would fall into place eventually.

Back at work they would be partners again, partners and friends.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

Jay and Hailey spent most of their time together now, both relying on the other a lot, at work and personally. And both were aware that their relationship had changed after the kiss, but they were still reluctant to do something about it. It happened regularly that one spent the night on the other's couch, that both fell asleep together on the couch, but so far the kiss had no repeat.

One reason for their reluctance to address their changing relationship was that something was going on in 21st, something neither Jay nor Hailey could put a finger on, but it was there. They sometimes talked about it when they were alone, but due to the strange atmosphere hardly ever mentioned anything when they were in company.

* * *

One morning Antonio, Kevin and Kim were out working on a case. Ruzek had spent 30 minutes in Voight's office with the door closed, and when he opened the door, he left without any further explanation. He didn't look happy. Shortly after that Voight left too, without a word.

Hailey was downstairs with Trudy Platt, so Jay was alone in the office with Al, and he decided to take his chance.

"Al, what's going on?" Jay asked.

Al lifted his hands defensively. "Keep out of it, kid."

"Come on," Jay insisted. "Something is not right here. All the whispering, the secrets; you and Voight leaving the office without telling anyone where you are. Oh, and Ruzek running around with an unusually worried look on his face. So don't tell me it's nothing. Tell me, so that I can help."

"No, Jay. It's too dangerous," Al said quietly but insistently. "You must keep out of it, you must keep a spotless reputation. Take care of your girl, and of yourself. Do not get involved."

Jay gave him an irritated look. _My reputation must be spotless? And - *m__y girl*? What about that?_

"Jay, don't deny it, do me the favor. And stay out of this."

Jay didn't answer. He returned to his desk, bewildered. Had this conversation actually taken place? What was it about? He still had no idea what was going on, just felt more worried than before.

He needed to talk to Hailey.

* * *

When Hailey returned upstairs, she immediately saw that something was off. She sat down on Jay's desk, touched his shoulder.

Almost automatically she caressed him, didn't even notice it herself. "You okay?"

Jay looked up at her, barely suppressed a sigh. "I don't know," he admitted. "Let's talk tonight."

Hailey nodded, leaving her hand where it was for a while longer. Only when she noticed that Al was in the office and watched them, she blushed and quickly pulled her hand away, but to her surprise Al just smirked.

There was not a chance for a private conversation during the day, and Hailey didn't get the slightest hint from Jay what it was he wanted to talk about. It had to be something about the strange atmosphere in the office, about Voight, Al and Adam. What else could it be? She was getting more and more nervous with every passing hour, and she noticed Jay was just as anxious.

* * *

"So, what happened earlier?" Hailey let herself fall on the couch beside Jay.

Jay sighed audibly, which caused Hailey to laugh. "Oh, don't be so dramatic, babe."

_Babe_?

Jay took his glass, drank some whisky; he didn't know how to start.

"Al refused to tell me what's going on," he said slowly.

"So you asked?"

"I tried to."

"Good," Hailey said. "What did he say?"

Jay put his glass back on the table, looked into Hailey's face. "he said it's too dangerous, and we must keep out of it, whatever *it* is. We need to keep a spotless reputation."

"What did he mean?"

"I have no idea, Hailey."

"Strange. So we still don't know what's going on?" Hailey said. "Do we want to dig into it?"

"I don't know if that's a good idea," Jay admitted. "I want to, but… for once I'm not sure if I should."

"That doesn't sound like you, Jay." She smiled softly.

"What do you think, Hailey?"

"I will talk to Adam, perhaps he gives me something. That would be a start. I'm as worried as you are. Are you okay with that?"

"Sure, absolutely. Perhaps you are more successful than me," Jay agreed, then stared into space, silent.

"That's all?" Hailey asked, noticing that Jay hesitated to go on.

"All about the strange things going on in Intelligence."

Hailey raised her eyebrows. "And what else did he say?"

Jay sighed again which caused Hailey to roll her eyes. "Come on, Jay. You know you want to tell me."

Of course he wanted to tell her, but he didn't know how. He stared at her, stared into those blue eyes, the face he knew so well. And finally he went for the direct approach. He kissed her.

Hailey was too surprised to react, and Jay pulled back after a few seconds.

Hailey looked at him with a smile he couldn't quite decipher. "Kissing me is easier than telling me what he said?"

"He told me to take care of 'my girl'."

Hailey's eyebrows rose again.

"Of you," Jay added.

"Oh, so you don't have a secret girlfriend out there, or a wife?" she teased him. "Good to know."

"Yeah," Jay didn't react to her teasing and was suddenly very nervous. "I guess Al sees what I've been trying to ignore for quite a while now."

Hailey just looked at him. She had a pretty good idea what Jay would say, but she wanted him to say it, so that she could be sure – she wanted to make sure she didn't push him.

"I guess he sees how much I care for you," Jay touched her face tenderly. "I'm falling in love with you all over again. And there's nothing I can do about it." And suddenly he couldn't stop talking. "Hailey, when you joined Intelligence, I was in a bad place, because of the break-up with Erin. It had been an intense relationship, you know that. I needed time to get over it, to work on stuff. I did love her, after all. And still I was so happy to have you in our team, to have you back in my life. But I figured it wouldn't be wise to drag you into my drama, and wanted you to have a fresh, good start in the team, become one of the team, friends with all of us. And… and I know Voight doesn't approve of in-house relationships. So I tried to ignore my feelings. But in the last months, with everything that has happened, with you always having my back – always – I can't do that anymore. Hailey, I want to be more than your friend and your partner. I don't care what the guys say, what Voight says. We can work as partners and be in a relationship, I know that. And even if I have to leave Intelligence and find a new unit – so be it."

Hailey looked at him, processed everything he said. And Jay gave her the time, watched her silently, watched how her face displayed her conflicting emotions. He still caressed her cheek, but that was all he did.

Jay had been sure that Hailey felt the same, but her silence made him question his judgment for a moment. Perhaps he should have kept quiet? Perhaps she wanted to be just friends? Or friends with benefits? Hell, he would go for that, it would be better than nothing. But of course, it was not what he wanted.

He was willing to give up his dream job for her? Hailey hadn't expected that. And what she hadn't expected either was that she realized she would do the same. For Jay. For their relationship.

"Jay," she slowly said, looking directly into his green eyes. "Jay, neither of us will have to leave Intelligence."

Jay was irritated, but when he opened his mouth to speak, she put a finger on his lips, shook her head gently. "Neither of us will have to leave, because we will prove them wrong. We can be partners and a couple."

Jay exhaled audibly, and a big smile appeared on his face, mirrored by the smile she gave him.

She cupped his face in her hands and kissed him tenderly. "I love you, Jay Halstead. And I will never leave again. No job in the world is worth leaving you a second time."

Jay wrapped his arms firmly around Hailey, held her as close as possible. "No job in the world," he agreed.

Hailey let herself fall into his embrace, wanted to feel him close, just that and nothing else. She had Jay back, nothing else mattered.

* * *

They spent the evening on the couch, just sitting close together, hardly speaking, without watching TV or listening to music, just enjoying the other's company. There was no need to talk, everything had in fact fallen into place for them, they were lost in thoughts.

Later, Hailey remembered something she had wanted to tell Jay all along.

"I talked to Trudy this morning," she said. "I thought she might know what's going on."

"That's why you were downstairs?"

"Yeah. I could see that she's just as worried but didn't say anything. If she knows something, she doesn't tell us."

"If Trudy Platt is worried, then it must be bad," Jay concluded. "I wish I could do something."

Hailey nodded. "I know. But since nobody is telling us anything, we should stand back and watch. I've got the impression, Voight and Al might want to protect all of us. In the end they might need some people, like Antonio, Kim, Kev and the two of us, to be unbiased. Perhaps there is something shady going on. Whatever it is, it's nothing small."

"And Ruz is in on it?"

"You're jealous they use Adam and not you?" This teasing voice again. Involuntarily Jay had to grin back at her.

"As long as you don't choose him over me, I'm fine."

"So you are jealous of Adam?" Hailey grinned mischievously.

"Do I have to be?" Jay grinned right back at her.

"Let's see what your superpowers are, and then I'll decide," Hailey's grin became wider, and she pulled back out of Jay's embrace, only to tug his shirt out of his denims.

Jay's eyes followed her hands. He leaned back, expecting her to pull his shirt further up.

Hailey laughed out. "You're so vain, Halstead." she let go of his shirt, playfully touched his skin.

Jay didn't wait any longer, removed his shirt and threw it on the floor, then slipped his hands under Hailey's shirt. He laughed, pulled her closer, kissed her, this time not soft and tentative, but full of passion. His tongue slipped between her lips, played with Hailey's tongue. At the same time, his hands moved up her body, leaving a hot trail on her skin.

"Bedroom?" she managed to ask, out of breath already.

"Hell yes," Jay just answered, and without hesitation took her up in his arms and carried her to the bed.

They enjoyed the familiarity, knowing the other's body, there was no awkwardness, it was as if they had never been apart. Hailey noticed that Jay was even more muscular, stronger than before, she traced his muscular abdomen with her fingers, sending shivers down his spine.

Jay couldn't get enough of Hailey's soft skin, he wanted to touch every bit of her body with his fingers, his lips.

"Oh my, you're even more beautiful than before," he mumbled.

"And you're even more charming than before," she smiled. "And it works so well."


	15. Chapter 15

_**This is the last chapter of the story. I hope you have enjoyed my different take on season 5 with my two favorite detectives. Thank you once again for your amazing reviews. I am so thankful to all of you.**_

* * *

**Chapter 15**

In the office, Jay and Hailey didn't display their changed relationship openly, but they didn't try to hide it either.

Just like the days before, the atmosphere wasn't one to encourage romantic feelings anyway.

Hailey tried to talk to Adam, as she had discussed with Jay, but without success. When she approached Adam in the locker room, he tried to avoid her, wanted to leave right away. He immediately knew that she wanted to ask questions he wasn't ready to answer.

"Hey Ruzek," she blocked his way out the door. "What's going on?"

"What do you mean?"

She raised her eyebrows. "Adam, come on. Something's going on here, and you are in on it."

"Nothing I can talk about," he answered reluctantly.

"Adam!"

"Seriously, Hailey," Adam insisted. "There's nothing I can tell you."

"You can't or don't want to?"

Adam just shook his head and moved past her, leaving the locker room without a further word.

Hailey waited a while before going back into the office, and with the others present she only shook her head briefly at Jay. _Nothing._

* * *

And suddenly it all seemed to implode. The unit was investigating an illegal gun deal with Jay and Kevin working undercover with the two involved gangs. When they were in the office summarizing all that had happened, suddenly Trudy Platt came upstairs followed by two very serious and very official looking cops.

One of them, an elderly man in a suit, Starkey, addressed Al directly: "Bad news, Al. Grand Jury voted to indict."

The woman, Hale, added, "You're under arrest for the murder of Kevin Bingham. Stand up."

"We're gonna need your weapon and badge."

Everyone stopped what they were doing or saying, stared in shock at what was happening, only Voight managed to say something at all, "What? Are you kidding me? Handcuffs? He's got 30 years on the job."

"Weapon. And badge. Now."

Hale stepped behind Al, and once he had handed over badge and gun, cuffed him, and they walked him outside.

"I got this," Al muttered, trying hard to keep his composure.

The remaining members of Intelligence looked at each other, at their boss, who was just as horrified and didn't say anything.

Hailey and Jay sat down on Jay's desk close to each other, briefly exchanging a glance, then looked at Voight expectantly. He would have to say, to do something. But Voight just took his jacket and left.

* * *

"Would anyone please tell me what is going on here?" Jay said loudly. He looked from one team member to the other, his gaze finally resting on Adam. Jay raised his eyebrows.

Adam shook his head defensively.

"Adam, spill it," Hailey interfered, impatient, and the others agreed.

Kim looked at Adam slightly annoyed, "Adam, what's going on? Do you know anything?"

"Let's go downstairs," Adam said with a shrug – downstairs, where the cage was located, and where there were no cameras or microphones.

A few minutes later the unit plus Trudy Platt assembled downstairs; everyone looked at Adam expectantly.

"Adam, everyone has heard bits and pieces," Trudy started. "We heard that Al was arrested for the murder of Kevin Bingham."

"Who was the killer of Voight's son, Justin," Jay explained in Hailey's direction. "Bingham was never found…"

Hailey nodded. "Do we know…?"

"No, we don't," Jay interrupted, signaling her to be careful. "Adam, what do you know?"

"It's Woods," Adam said, clearly disgusted. "He's got it in for Voight, and Al's the victim."

"And how are you involved?" Antonio asked suspiciously.

"Because Woods had something on me, tried to blackmail me. I'll explain later, if you insist. I was supposed to give him evidence on all the bad stuff he thinks we are doing. To get to Voight. When Voight found out that he was after him and Al, I tried to get information from Woods, tried to anticipate his steps, so that we could do something to stop his crusade…" He shook his head. "Woods wants to punish Voight and uses Al."

"And what can we do?" Kim asked.

Antonio immediately took the lead. "One: We do our jobs. Two: I will check with Voight. Three: we will ask around, if we can find anything that can help Al."

"And Four: no more secrets among us," Jay added. "We need to stick together. All of us. We must be sure we can trust each other."

"Agreed," Hailey and Kim immediately answered, Kevin and Antonio nodded. Adam looked down, feeling guilty, and shrugged. "Yeah, okay."

What they found out was that Bingham had been murdered, his body had been found a while ago. They had suspected that Bingham was dead, now they had evidence. What they hadn't known was that there had been traces of DNA on Bingham's body, Al's DNA.

Remembering that night when the unit had tried to find Bingham, Jay was convinced Al was innocent, because the team – including Al – had been together. Only Voight had been missing. Jay didn't want to speculate if Voight had murdered Bingham. It was highly probable, especially since there were other stories of missing offenders, but he didn't care about that right now, it didn't matter. He was convinced everyone suspected as much, but nobody mentioned it. It didn't matter. If Woods had any evidence that Voight had done it, Voight would be the one in custody, not Al. Al was just collateral damage.

* * *

In the evening they met at Molly's, but hardly talked. They stood around a table, had a few drinks, everyone lost in their own thoughts. Jay and Hailey stood close to each other, leaning on to each other. All of them drank more than they should have, but tonight it didn't matter. Tomorrow they would try to figure out what they could do. Tonight, they would drown their sorrow. They confirmed once again to not keep secrets from each other regarding everything that was related to Al's arrest, they needed to stick together as a team.

It wasn't the right time for Jay and Hailey to tell the others about their changed relationship. If necessary, there would be a time to discuss it, but not right now. They behaved differently, though, and the others could see that things had changed. They were closer, touched more often and more caring, communicated via looks even more than before. And at one point Jay slipped his arm around Hailey's shoulders, while she leaned her head on his shoulder. The team didn't comment, it was fine. Perhaps they already suspected that they were a couple, perhaps they blamed it on the alcohol. Tonight, it didn't matter.

* * *

The next days things were going downhill even more. While Kevin and Jay were busy with their undercover work trying to make their respective gang members complete the gun deal, Al had his first hearing. This hearing didn't go well, he had to stay in jail.

When the unit asked Voight about updates, all Voight answered was that Al would be released in two days, when his bond hearing would take place, clearly unwilling to answer more questions.

In the meantime, the undercover mission was completed, the gun deal was prevented, all key players arrested.

* * *

Two days later, at Al's bond hearing, the unit assembled in court, all listening attentively to what was happening. Voight still showed a confidence that nobody could quite understand. Nobody had the slightest idea what he could have in store to get Al out of prison. On the other hand, Voight always managed to pull through, he always found a way out. So he simply had to have a solution this time as well.

But when the judge appeared, Voight's seemingly calm demeanor changed, he was clearly worried. And it turned out that he had all reason to be worried, because Al did not get bail, he had to stay in prison until the trial. A dangerous place for a cop.

Jay could see a nasty grin on Wood's face, and he would have liked nothing more than punch him right there. Of course, he didn't, and with the others he left the courthouse.

There had to be something they could do to help Al. Jay wanted to talk to his sergeant immediately, but Voight was gone before anyone even noticed. The unit just stood outside of the courthouse, clueless of what to do now.

"Let's go home, guys," Trudy suggested in the end." Let's go home and get back to work tomorrow. Perhaps with a fresh mind we can figure out something."

* * *

But it didn't come to that.

Jay and Hailey went home to Hailey's place, brought some take-out food, which they hardly touched, and both basically stared into space.

And suddenly their phones rang. Al had been stabbed and was in the ICU.

What happened next remained blurry in both their memories. They drove to Med, ran to the waiting room of the ICU, where they met the others, and they waited. They waited for what seemed to be hours. Waited for news on Al, for Voight to bring them good news. Nobody spoke a word.

Hailey was sitting next to Trudy Platt, with Jay sitting next to her for a while, but nervously pacing the room most of the time. Kim was crouching on a chair in a corner, alone, Kevin and Adam sitting together, Antonio pacing the room just like Jay.

When Voight entered the room, everyone immediately knew that the news weren't good ones.

"He's dead," Voight confirmed everyone's worst suspicion. "Al is dead."

Jay almost ran out of the room, needed to be alone, and Kevin followed quickly, heading into another direction.

Hailey was torn between following Jay, leaning on to him, and sitting in her chair, unable to move, unable to think.

Adam wrapped his arms around a sitting Kim, Antonio stared at the wall, Trudy and Hank embraced briefly.

Jay didn't know where to go, what to do. The unthinkable had happened. Al was dead! He wanted to run, to yell, to punch someone. Not knowing where he went, he reached a dead end, stared at a wall. And thought of Hailey. He had just left her alone. He turned around and ran back, ran into the room, didn't care for anyone but Hailey. He sat down in the chair next to her and pulled her in his arms tightly. They clung to each other, both trying to comfort the other without words.

It took a while before everyone was ready to talk again, Kevin returned too, stood in a corner.

Kim and Adam sat next to each other, and so did Jay and Hailey, Hailey's hand rested on Jay's leg, with his hand covering hers; everyone else was sitting or standing alone, dealing with the pain. How should they, could they deal with this?

Voight had the answer, his usual answer. Work. Find the killer. Find out why Al was killed, who was responsible.

Therefore, the unit headed to the prison in which Al had been stabbed, regardless of how they were feeling.

And perhaps it would help them deal with the pain.

* * *

The unit headed for the prison, in which *it* had happened, in which Al had been stabbed. Voight organized a room for them, from which they could work. And work began. They checked video surveillance, interrogated numerous people, and in the end found the killer. And found out who was behind this. In pursuit of this man the unit drove to his mansion, threatened his wife and mother-in-law, and in the end found him. The pursuit finished with Voight shooting the man, who was responsible for Al's death, on a roof top. Nobody was sorry a bit.

To Jay and Hailey these days felt like it passed within seconds, like everybody else they tried to shut off their emotions but couldn't do that. In fact they all worked even more passionately, aggressively and more focused than usually. The only thing that mattered was to find Al's killer.

* * *

When it was over, the unit met far away from everybody else on a parking lot. A cooler and bottles of beer, the only light coming from their cars. They wanted to remember Al on their own terms, outside of the official Chicago PD world, outside of official memorial services.

They stood together, sharing stories, drinking to Al. Jay noticed that there was some disagreement between Antonio and Adam, but before he could get closer, Kevin already interfered and calmed them down.

Hailey, who had been standing together with Trudy and Kim, approached Jay, seeing the tears in his eyes. She pulled him into a firm embrace, held him tight and caressed his hair. It didn't matter what anybody thought, they needed to go through this grief together. Jay accepted her comfort thankfully, and after a while he softly kissed her forehead. He felt that he was able to talk now, without actually crying.

"You know, this night is about Al, and I am going to do now what Al told me to do. I am going home, and I'm going to take care of my girl." Jay briefly looked at Hailey, smiled a sad smile at her. Trudy and Antonio raised their eyebrows, the other three smiled at them sadly.

"Al saw it before we did, you know?" Jay continued. "He knew more than anyone and was the best friend we could have. He made me realize what's important. Life's too short to waste your time finding reasons to not be with the one person you love. Al gave me a kick in the right direction. The best kick ever."

"We will never forget him," Hailey added. "He was always there for me, believe it or not. Never made a big thing out of it, but he was there."

She turned to Jay again. "And I will never leave you again," she said to Jay. "I won't make the same mistake twice."

"Twice?" Kim asked surprised. "When?"

"A few years ago. Al knew. But that's a story for another time," Jay said with a soft smile to Hailey.

**The End**

_**I will stop this story here. It was an experiment to write so close to the actual episodes, and it was more difficult than I imagined - I didn't want to re-tell the PD storyline just for the sake of it, I wanted to add my personal twist to it, with a different - closer - relationship between Jay and Hailey. I hope I didn't bore you with this. **_

_**And I wanted to include Al in the last bit - as a mentor and friend, which he has always been. **_

_**My next story will probably be a completely original Upstead- story. An idea is already in my mind, but it needs some groundwork before I can publish it.**_


End file.
